


Better Half

by JaneDuJour



Category: Suits (TV)
Genre: Fake Marriage, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-06
Updated: 2014-08-16
Packaged: 2018-02-03 14:49:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 32,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1748471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JaneDuJour/pseuds/JaneDuJour
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There had been a foolish, selfish thought flickering in the back of Mike's brain over the past few weeks that maybe Harvey was doing this just as an excuse to get a little closer to him. That wasn't the case at all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It's a fake marriage fic (why aren't there more of them in this fandom?) that deals more with the aftermath than the actual faking it part. The second half of this fic is coming within the next couple weeks, so if you want to read it all at once check back towards the end of June. The "Mature" content is in the last chapter, not this one, and chances are good that I'll bump that "M" up to the good old faithful "E" rating by the time I post it.
> 
> LittleGirlTree is my beta reader and she's the greatest! Shower her with affection!

= = =

 

“Put this on.”

 

They were in the elevator when Harvey sprung it on him. Of course he chose to do this seconds before arriving at their new clients’ doorstep and Mike didn’t have much time to ask questions when Harvey forced a small, gold ring into his palm. He looked over at the man standing next to him who was just as confident and focused as ever.

 

“Oh my finger?” It looked like a wedding band.

 

Harvey sneered but didn’t look over at Mike. “No, I want you to put it on your elbow. Yes, on your finger. Stop asking questions and do what I say.”

 

The elevator doors opened and Mike followed Harvey into the hallway. He had pretended to be a family man before, but he’d never faked it for clients, and he didn’t know enough about the case to know how that would be useful. Harvey had plucked him off the sidewalk on his way back from lunch, pushed him into a cab, and spent the entire ride on his phone, offering next to no details. Mike slid the ring onto the appropriate finger regardless. It was definitely a tight fit, but he managed to squeeze it over his knuckle.

 

“In fact,” Harvey continued as they paced down the hallway, “try to do as little talking as possible. I’ve got this in the bag.”

 

“Then what am I doing here?”

               

= = =

 

“He’s my better half.”

 

The young couple on the sofa across from them were listening to Harvey’s little fabricated speech intently and Mike didn’t want to interrupt. Once he understood that it wasn’t a joke, it was easy to shut up. He couldn’t even smile. Or frown. He was too embarrassed and lost to react. So he propped his elbows on his knees, making sure the ring was visible, clasped his hands, tightened his lips, and let Harvey do what he did.

 

“It’s not exactly something we advertise,” Harvey continued, “but I feel comfortable telling you this. We’ve spent the past two years personally struggling with discrimination in our day-to-day lives, so when we want to take a vacation to get away from it all...”

 

Mike almost laughed at the word ‘vacation’. It was a foreign concept. But at Harvey’s quick, warning glance he forced himself to keep a straight face and remain nothing more than a prop in The Harvey Show.

 

“The last thing we need to worry about is whether or not we’d have somewhere to stay if the hotel staff find out we’re married. Cases like these send a message to the entire hospitality industry. And when people don’t put up a fight, the message is that nobody cares and nothing needs to change. That’s not good enough for me, and I know it’s not good enough for you.”

 

Josh and Marco exchanged glances. Harvey was getting warmer.

 

“Are you really going to sit there and tell me that you’re tired of fighting?” Harvey’s words were tough, but his voice was warm and smooth. “That you’d rather just live under the radar? Settle for being treated like second-class citizens? The way I see it is that you have a responsibility, not only to yourselves, but to the whole community.”

 

Marco took a breath and grabbed Josh’s hand. “You’re not listening,” he explained to Harvey in polite frustration. “We’re not totally out to our families. They still think we’re roommates,” he confessed reluctantly. “If this whole thing goes public…” He shook his head. “We just can’t. Not now.”

 

Mike almost grinned because he knew that Harvey had them exactly where he wanted them. He was a master of reverse psychology.

 

Mike wondered briefly about how two people could live together in a relationship without their families knowing. Did they have two bedrooms? Did they withhold or did they lie? When they had company, did they swap out the Monet for a Maxim calendar? It probably wasn’t important, but he was curious. They definitely could have passed as straight, and given their income a roommate wasn’t out of the question in Manhattan.

 

Harvey feigned a sigh and leaned back in his chair. “Well, it’s always my opinion that you’ve got to take the bastards to court,” he lied. “A settlement might help in the short term but the publicity is what makes a lasting impact.”

 

Mike knew this was probably his cue. “Harvey, they’re not interested in the money.” He leaned towards Harvey and lowered his voice, playing along. “They just want to be treated with dignity.”

 

“I know,” Harvey agreed. “That’s exactly what Marco told me when we spoke last week.”

 

Josh and Marco exchanged looks. Marco opened his mouth, but Josh cut in:

 

“How much money?”

 

Harvey grinned.

 

= = =

 

“Don’t give me that face, it wasn’t that bad,” Harvey said as they stepped out onto the sidewalk. “If we can round up a few more beleaguered homos from Trip Advisor, the hotel chain is going to do whatever they can to keep this quiet. You know, these guys are lucky this happened at such a swanky joint and not one of those backwater motels.”

 

“Right, but—“

 

“I’ll let you in on a tip: land as many gay clients as you can, especially couples. Money in the bank. They’re less likely to have dependents, they earn more than women on average, and there’s never going to be a shortage of discrimination suits. Not much to show by way of damages but easy to settle.”

 

“Don’t you think this should go to court?”

 

Harvey didn’t seem to register what Mike had said at first. He checked his watch. “Why would we do that?”

 

Mike shrugged and pretended not to care that much. “Everything you were saying was true. About sending a message.”

 

“I said that because if they thought we wanted to go under the radar, they would feel like we didn’t take their case seriously. Marco was almost willing to let this whole thing get swept under the rug. We need them to feel like we’re on their side. And we are,” he assured. “Which is why we’re not going to court.”

 

Mike swallowed his arguments because he knew they were useless. Harvey was probably right. Do the job. Make the money.

 

Finally the black car they had been waiting for pulled up to the curb and Harvey let himself into the back seat.

 

“You could have mentioned this earlier, by the way.” Mike held up his hand, showing Harvey the ring before he could shut the door. He’d probably surprised him with it just to see him squirm. “I could have used a bit of time to prepare.”

 

Harvey smirked. “Prepare what? You got an extended lunch break and all you needed to do was sit there and look cute.”

 

Mike was slowly learning that it was a part of his job description. He really had a lot to do back at the office though and this had only put him behind.

 

Harvey slammed the door and Mike circled the car to let himself in the other side. The moment he shut the door behind him, the car began rolling slowly back to work in the thick downtown lunch-hour traffic.

 

“I think we should see other people,” Mike suggested dryly as he settled in, tugging at the ring. But it didn’t budge. He twisted and pulled harder, but his finger only began to swell.

 

Mike glanced over at Harvey in a moment of discrete panic to see him sitting there with an open, expectant palm.

 

“Is this a woman’s ring?” Mike wiggled the band below his swollen knuckle.

 

Harvey shrugged. “You’ve got dainty hands...”

 

“Of course.” Mike gave up on the ring and let it go. “I guess that makes me the wife in this marriage.”

 

“There is no wife in a gay marriage, that’s the whole point.” Harvey gave him a tense sideways glance, and closed his hand, turning his focus out the window. “Put some soap on it. And _don’t lose it,_ it’s on loan.”

 

It occurred to Mike that if Harvey had taken the time to borrow a ring, the idea probably hadn’t come to him as an entertaining impulse. He must have really thought this was necessary. It gave Mike a little more faith in the tactic but it still annoyed him.

 

= = =

 

After nearly ten painstaking minutes of lathering his finger with soap in the men’s room, Mike finally coaxed the ring off, leaving a red, swollen knuckle behind. Desperate not to lose it down the sink or anywhere else, he hid it in his fist and went straight to Harvey’s office, relieved that he’d managed to get rid of the thing before being forced to parade it around the office. People noticed these things.

 

Harvey waved him in when he saw him approach.

 

“I didn’t have to amputate,” Mike announced, placing the ring on Harvey’s desk with a _clink_.

 

“Hang on to it.” Harvey instructed as he continued typing something up at his computer.

 

“Are you serious?”

 

“Tomorrow we’re meeting two women from Albany who had a similar experience with a different branch of the same hotel two weeks ago while they were on vacation. And there are more...”

 

“Really?” Mike circled around behind Harvey to glance at his computer screen. “I can’t believe people still get away with this.”

 

“They won’t. We can definitely go after them at a corporate level, which is pretty rare these days. This is big. It’s exactly what I thought.”

 

Mike licked his lips and pointed to the ring sitting on Harvey’s desk. “And you actually expect me to keep pretending that I’m a—“

 

“Married,” Harvey finished briskly.

 

“To you,” Mike specified, moving back around the desk opposite Harvey. “Not that I’m not flattered,” he amended quickly. He knew that he would be considered a reflection of Harvey’s taste. And it actually was kind of flattering that Harvey was willing to discretely allow a handful of people to believe that Mike was someone he’d chosen to be with. It was uncomfortable, but complimentary nonetheless.

 

“You don’t have to do that much,” Harvey assured him casually. “ _Married_ , not _dating_. Don’t get confused.”

 

Mike squinted and watched Harvey work, trying to pick something – _anything_ – out of his expression to see if he was really serious. It seemed like such a simple, obvious detail to the other man, but Mike wasn’t going to pretend he didn’t have a problem with it.

 

“You really think that it’s a good idea?” Mike was careful not to suggest that any of Harvey’s ideas were _bad_. “To lie to our clients? Not just on principal, but it would be really easy to get caught.” Now he had Harvey’s attention. “It’s one thing to lie about your sexual orientation,” _presumably,_ “but marital status is a whole other...” He sighed. “Why get me involved?” Shouldn’t it have been enough for Harvey to tell his clients that he could relate, and leave it at that? It might have even been true.

 

Harvey tapped at his keyboard a few more times and shut his laptop. “If they think we’re on their side – if _their_ problems are _our_ problems – they’re going to trust our advice and everybody’s going to get paid a whole lot faster. It’s a shortcut. And this is pro bono, so—“

 

Mike let out a laugh in apprehension of a joke that didn’t come to fruition. Harvey must have had visions of a substantial settlement if he was really choosing to invest in a pro bono discrimination suit. Now Mike understood his urgency. Was Jessica behind this? Mike had a feeling she wasn’t.

 

“ _So,_ ” Harvey continued, “we can’t afford _not_ to take shortcuts. They don’t want to trust two straight corporate guys cashing in on the plight of the minority, especially when it comes to something so private.”

 

“But we _are_ two straight corporate guys cashing in on the plight of the minority,” Mike insisted in frustration, casually letting another of many small lies about himself slip out once more.

 

Harvey stood and buttoned his jacket. “Speak for yourself.” He exhaled, annoyed.

 

“You’re not... corporate?” Mike didn’t quite have time to fully process what Harvey said, because the other man was still talking.

 

“I have a lunch meeting. You have work to do.”

 

“Um–“ _Back up._

 

“You’ll probably have to stay late so you can tie up some loose ends before you prep for our meeting tomorrow.” Harvey pulled a sheet out of his printer tray and handed it to Mike. “These are the leads I already have. Find every bad review on this hotel chain since they opened last year. Find out who’s gay, and who’s pissed off. If they’re not pissed off... inspire them.” He picked up the ring and handed it to Mike, staring him down until he took it.

 

“I don’t like lying.” Mike clenched his jaw and stood his ground. He heard Harvey’s point, but it didn’t seem to justify this decision. Something was off.

 

“It’s an honest case. Just think of the rest as an exaggeration.”

 

Then he left Mike standing there in his office with the sheet of paper in one hand and the ring in the other.

 

 

= = =

 

Sure enough, just under one month passed before nine couples had their settlements. Harvey and Mike had their cut, and it wasn’t peanuts. Everything had gone smoothly, just as Harvey had promised. Outside of Harvey’s small, dishonest revelations, their sexuality was never called into question and no acting was required. Harvey was a little bit nicer to him than usual, which was remarkably easy to tolerate, but first and foremost they were lawyers. Beyond that, their assumed personal relationship was a private matter that their clients chose to respect. He was relieved that he didn’t have to do any active pretending with Harvey, not really having any exact parameters in place, but he never felt any less guilty for being dishonest.

 

One more time, Mike wiggled the stubborn band off his sore finger and placed in on Harvey’s desk. “It’s been swell, but the–“

 

“Swelling’s gone down?”

 

Mike let himself smile, never intending for Harvey to pick up his obscure movie reference. “Not yet,” he noted. His finger was red and puffy.

 

“Admit that it wasn’t as bad as you thought it would be.” Harvey leaned back in his chair with an _I-told-you-so_ grin on his face.

 

No. It hadn’t been bad at all. It had been pretty good, actually. Mike had enjoyed the degree of warmth that had increased between them, but he wasn’t going to admit that. Things hadn’t been any different really, just a bit... nicer. Kinder. It nagged him a little that if it was so easy for Harvey to take a gentler approach, why didn’t he want to be that way all the time? They made a great team, but it sometimes seemed like Harvey almost made an effort to _not_ make anything easier for Mike. What did he have against easy, anyway?

 

If Mike was honest with himself, he’d miss the friendlier side that Harvey had been showing him when they were around their clients, pretending to be a couple and pretending to disguise it. Once in a while that warmth leaked into the office a little when they were alone, like he was forgetting to be an asshole again. And if he was _really_ honest with himself, he’d miss the encouraging hand that tended to land on his shoulder a little more than usual. That had occurred once for each week of the month, like he was doling out a limited supply of affection. Harvey didn’t really behave all that differently towards him, but his tone had changed. It was calculated, but it felt good anyway. It was the difference between being by Harvey’s side because he was required, and being there because he was wanted.

 

It was only a feeling, really, which wasn’t worth much in the end.

 

“We delivered on our promise,” Mike settled diplomatically as he dropped onto Harvey’s couch. “Our clients are happy, so... I’m happy.”

 

Harvey seemed to be waiting for Mike to say something more, but when he didn’t, he just turned his attention back to his laptop.

 

“I still think we could have been equally effective without the whole... made up... thing.”

 

“We won, and you’re still fighting me on this this?” Harvey stared at him and shook his head in amused disbelief. “In the long run we could have made it happen, but the payoff wouldn’t have been worth the time without a fast track.”

 

That was probably true. Mike had been a little surprised when he learned that Harvey had agreed to take on this case pro bono, which quickly explained why he had done everything possible to wrap it up quickly. How the case had come to Harvey’s attention in the first place, Mike still had no idea.

 

“It’s not like you’ve never fudged the truth a little before,” Harvey pointed out. “We didn’t give anyone bad legal advice.”

 

“Yeah. I don’t know, it just kind of seemed like maybe...” The more he talked it out, the more ridiculous it seemed, so he tried to spin it like he was kidding. “I don’t know, like maybe you saw this as an opportunity to mess with me or something. For fun.” It had been his initial reaction, and he had been wondering about it ever since. He twisted his lips into a false, sideways smile and scratched the back of his neck. It definitely sounded stupid once he heard it outside his head.

 

Harvey didn’t seem to think it was a funny observation. “There are cheaper and faster ways to mess with you. You think this was fun for me?”

 

Mike cleared his throat. “I don’t know. Yeah?” And so what? Harvey enjoyed his job, didn’t he?

 

“Was it fun for you?”                                                                                                                                             

 

“Fun?” Maybe a little, but _fun_ probably wasn’t the word. Mike sighed and dragged the heel of his shoe along the floor. “It wasn’t my idea,” he decided to point out. “I don’t have that much fun when I have to be somewhere without a good reason.” Actually, that’s exactly what he’d enjoyed about it. Being by Harvey’s side, just because. “You didn’t give me much to do.”

 

Harvey was giving him that look again, like he was waiting for more. Mike didn’t know what he was supposed to say. Did he need to have a better reason for being uncomfortable? He had a feeling that Harvey wanted a bigger reaction regarding the homosexuality angle, but he wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of saying a single word on that topic, denial or otherwise. If Harvey wanted to know how he felt about something, he could ask him directly. He wasn’t going to get baited into revealing anything.

 

“You’re a good sport,” Harvey said. It sounded sarcastic coming from him, but Mike knew it wasn’t. Not everyone would have agreed to go along with something like this, and he certainly wasn’t obligated.

 

“Whatever, it’s done, so...” Mike shrugged. “Moving on.”

 

“Not completely done, apparently,” Harvey observed, eyeing his laptop.  


Mike felt nervous all the sudden. “Why? What’s wrong?” Had they made some kind of mistake? He couldn’t think of any loose ends that needed to be tied up.

 

“We just got invited to a victory party. Marco and Joshua are putting it together for all the other plaintiffs...” Harvey raised his eyebrows. “Rented out a nice little bar. Wouldn’t be surprised if they blow their whole settlement on this shindig.”

 

“Well, that’s a shame. I have a thing that night.”

 

“I didn’t tell you which night it was.”

 

Mike laughed. “You’re going? For real?” Harvey was always in high demand and he really couldn’t imagine this being at the top of the list.

 

Harvey took a few seconds to consider it. “Something tells me these guys know how to throw a party.”

 

“Give them my best.”

 

“You can do that in person, at the party.”

 

Mike shook his head. This was a little beyond his scope of reasoning. “You’re my work boss, not my party boss.”

 

“Didn’t you read your employment contract? Party boss. It’s on the third page,” Harvey teased.

 

Mike rolled his eyes. “We got the settlement. This isn’t work anymore. No.” Mike tried to congratulate himself on putting his foot down, but his instincts were telling him to accept the invitation. His instincts were always to say yes to Harvey, and he still wasn’t sure if that was good or bad.

 

Harvey exhaled, but said nothing, turning his attention back to his emails in quiet, simple defeat.

 

It struck Mike as odd. He had expected Harvey to come out with a reason as to why the both of them going to this party would be some kind of relevant professional investment. It wasn’t billable, so having some tactic seemed a lot more plausible than just wanting to celebrate. Marco and Josh were a very appealing couple though. It was easy to be around them. Mike wondered if he was being stupid in missing the greater scheme, or cold in turning down a friendly invitation. He didn’t _not_ want to go. He just didn’t want to go as Harvey’s husband (which he could barely even sound out in his head without feeling strange). As the circumstances were casual, he didn’t have the same kind of protection that their professionalism allowed them on the case. He would feel exposed. It opened the door to so many more lies.

 

“Yeah I’ll go,” Mike blurted, defeated by his own curiosity. If there was a chance that Harvey was just trying to be nothing more than affable by accepting and extending the invitation from their clients, it was the right answer. Mike didn’t like that his immediate response to kindness extended from the man was to react with suspicion. That was not good.

 

“Tomorrow at 8:00. I’ll forward you the address.”

 

Mike wondered if they should arrive together, but tomorrow was Saturday. They’d arrived to all of their meetings together, but that was because they were always coming from work. They really did work together. They really did _not_ live together. This was exactly the kind of detail that turned him off of continuing with their stupid lie outside of the professional scope.

 

“Be honest with me, though. For real.” Mike waited for Harvey’s focus to fall entirely on him before continuing. “Are you really not trying to mess with me at all? Because if that was even a part of what this whole lie was for, then consider yourself successful. I feel kind of... messed with.”

                                                                                                                                                                                            

Harvey studied Mike’s expression while he considered his answer. “It wasn’t my intention to make you feel that way.”

 

Mike nodded and pretended to be satisfied with a vague apology rather than an answer.

 

= = =

 

Mike arrived at the party before Harvey did. He had been unusually nervous all the way there, but once inside the bar he was immediately put at ease by friendly, grateful faces and a jazz duo offering an understated and vaguely familiar tune. Only two couples were absent from what he could tell, but there were plenty of faces he didn’t recognize, likely friends and family. He returned a few nods and smiles directed at him as he made his way to the bar, unsure of how to acknowledge the bit of awkward, sparse applause offered by a handful of particularly well-hydrated guests. He felt he was amongst friends, but he seemed to be the only one there on his own.

 

“Mike Ross!” Josh was shaking his hand enthusiastically before Mike even saw him approach. “I’m so glad you could make it! It really means a lot.”

 

Mike finally felt comfortable with his decision. “I wouldn’t miss it.” He propped an elbow on the bar and tried not to look to desperate to catch the bartender’s attention.

 

“Where’s Harvey?” Josh adjusted the tie on his fabulously mismatched green and gray suit.

 

Mike licked his dry lips nervously and looked around for an answer. _How the hell am I supposed to know where Harvey is?_ “He’s always fashionably late,” he offered, casually averting the question. But Harvey was never late, for anything. “Where’s Marco?”

 

Josh laughed. “Fashionably late.”

 

“To your own party?” Mike wanted to slap himself for the unintentionally insensitive slip of the tongue. “Sorry—“

 

“No it’s fine.” Josh waved away Mike’s apology. “He’s not really...” Josh searched for the words then sighed with a smile that was so flawless most people wouldn’t have noticed that it was rehearsed. “Ah, he’ll get here. Drink?”

 

“Yeah,” Mike breathed, grateful for the diversion. He wasn’t prepared to talk relationships.

 

“Yeah,” Josh echoed, leaning into the bar.

 

They finally got the bartender to stop flirting with a woman who was both gay and married, and ordered themselves each a glass of champagne. Mike had only intended to have one or two drinks before saying his goodnights, but after he’d finished a nice chat with Josh, done the obligatory rounds congratulating his (Harvey’s) clients, and finished his second glass of champagne, he promoted himself to rye and ginger. Initially he’d hoped that Harvey would arrive before Marco did, because Josh was the only other person who wasn’t with a person of his own and they were having a good talk. After more than an hour had passed, he began to hope that Harvey _wouldn’t_ arrive, because he was finally getting comfortable. He could be himself.

 

“I never really got a chance to tell you how grateful we were that you were both so honest with us. About you guys being an item. I can’t believe how lucky we got, really, we won the legal lottery.”

 

“Oh.” Mike nodded with a smile and discretely checked his phone for messages. Nothing. Someone came in through the front door. Not Harvey. Not Marco, either. Mike and Josh caught each other’s brief, anticipatory glances as the stranger was quickly called over by one of the victorious couples to join them in a drink.

 

“I mean...” Josh tried to find his place, distracted by the possibility of his partner finally arriving and still failing to do so. “Uh, we never would have made that assumption if you hadn’t told us.”

 

“I didn’t tell you, Harvey did.” Mike knew he probably sounded a little too guarded, but maybe it was best for Josh to know that this topic wasn’t something he was comfortable with. Josh didn’t seem to mind, but he didn’t seem to know what else to talk about anymore either. He was really making an effort to be a good host, and Mike felt bad for responding so coldly.

 

Josh checked his watch, and Mike felt worse. There was still no sign of Marco. Mike had completely written Harvey off by then.

 

“It’s not that I didn’t want you to know,” Mike explained, breaking the uncomfortable silence. “It’s just that Harvey didn’t exactly consult me on whether or not I’d be comfortable with disclosing that particular detail to some people I’d never met before.” His confession had truth in it. “And it’s fine. But like he said, it’s not something we advertise and I guess I’m not totally...”

 

“I get it. It’s new.” Josh nodded in understanding. “You’ve been together for a couple years, I know that. But you haven’t been married long, have you? Couple months?”

 

“Why do you say that?” He was a little curious about what they had tricked the outside eye into perceiving. “I mean... how did you know?”

 

Josh bit his lip, hesitating at first, and waved over the bartender and gestured for some refills. “Because I’ve seen you,” he said in a particularly even tone, watching as his drink was filled. “Around. You know. But not with him.”

 

“Oh...”

 

Mike’s stomach sank. His fresh drink splashed a little onto the bar as he hastily lifted it to his lips and drank. This was just perfect. Maybe he and Harvey passed as newlyweds, but it wasn’t because they were _obviously_ just so enamoured with each other, but because Mike had been making his rounds in the West Village pretty regularly while incredibly single and frustrated for a few months that summer. Williamsburg had what he was looking for, but making the trip across town always helped him feel like he could be someone else. So as far as Harvey’s story went, unless Mike was swinging or cheating, this “marriage” had to be very, very new. Josh’s lack of specificity regarding what he’d seen of Mike was very telling.

 

“But I haven’t seen you,” Mike said quietly, uncomfortably, averting his eyes as casually as he knew how. He really hadn’t seen Josh around, or he would have remembered.

 

“I guess you wouldn’t have. I was bartending between jobs for a while,” Josh explained. “Noticed that you didn’t usually have to buy your own drinks.”

 

“Shit,” Mike whispered with a short, dry laugh, the embarrassment at war with the alcohol in his system. He knew he hadn’t done anything wrong, but he felt like he’d been caught. Not caught in a lie, but a truth.

 

Josh laughed and pat him on the back. “Hey, I’m not judging. We trust each other, right?”

 

Mike nodded and downed the rest of his glass. He didn’t deserve to be trusted.

 

“Maybe you could, like... not mention that to Harvey.” Mike tried to plead with his eyes without looking too guilty. All he was really guilty of was having a personal life. In reality, it shouldn’t have mattered if Harvey knew anything about that, but he needed some privacy, even if it made him look unfaithful to an outside eye.

 

“No problem.”

 

Mike didn’t like letting someone think he’d screw around on Harvey. He wanted to correct him – he wasn’t like that (was he?)– but insisting that he’d been single all summer would shatter the thin lie he’d built with Harvey. And where the hell was he, anyway? It was Harvey’s lie and it was Harvey’s idea to come to the party, and he wasn’t here to deal with it anymore, so Mike took it upon himself to handle things the way he’d seen fit from the beginning. This was officially outside the parameters of work, and here was a really nice guy who was talking about trust...

 

“Look. Josh. I, um...” Mike pressed his lips together when he saw those kind, curious eyes looking into his. He didn’t want to disturb the shit but Harvey wasn’t there to stop him so fuck it. “You’re happy with the outcome of the settlement, right?”

 

“Why do you think we’re having a party?” Josh grinned. His smile was fucking perfect. He had a wide mouth like Harvey but Josh was growing in a short, well-groomed beard that he pulled off beautifully.

 

Mike swallowed. “I gotta be honest with you about something. Harvey would kill me if he knew I was telling you this, but... god, I just feel like such a dick for being dishonest with you.”

 

“What is it?” Josh inched a little closer, letting Mike lower his voice. He was trying not to let his smile fade and looked as though he was attempting to determine if this was going to be heavy or not.

 

Mike parted his lips to confess but a hand sliding around his back startled him.

 

“I’d kill you if you said what?” Harvey’s tone was playful but Mike could hear the dark reality of suspicion running below his tongue.

 

Josh beamed and extended a hand to shake Harvey’s. “So glad you could join us at last!” He seemed prepared to drop the subject that Mike had yet to broach.

 

Mike felt the blood rushing to his cheeks and ears in embarrassment as he discretely tried to inch away from Harvey’s touch, but the hand only slid further across his back and hooked around his waist. He was right up against the bar and had nowhere to go. Harvey had touched him casually now and then, but he never _grabbed_ him the way he was now. And that was it. This was off limits. This wasn’t a part of what Mike had agreed to.

 

Mike turned his head, looked at Harvey, and gave him the only defense he had. “We’re not really married,” he announced, only loud enough for Harvey and Josh to hear. He couldn’t even fathom the consequences of his revelation. Maybe that’s why it came so easily. And they were in public, so Harvey wouldn’t _really_ kill him.

 

But it wasn’t anger in Harvey’s dark eyes as they quietly studied his face. It was pure and simple disappointment. And somehow, the hand around his waist didn’t slacken. Mike knew then that he’d broken two peoples’ trust and he immediately wished he could take it back. Shit. Shit, no, it wasn’t worth it.

 

“Um, what do you mean by that exactly?” Josh asked carefully, trying to keep his spirits up.

 

Harvey turned to look at Josh and answered: “It’s not official yet,” he explained simply. “We’ve been engaged for a while and we had a private ceremony. This is a marriage, but it isn’t legal. _Yet_ ,” he emphasized once more. “It will be when the timing’s right. I hope you don’t feel that we’ve misled you in any way...?”

 

Josh let out a sigh of relief. “Not at all,” he assured them. “I don’t care about that. Have a drink!” Then he turned to the bar and called for more champagne.

 

Mike suddenly felt lucky that Harvey had walked in when he had, but a little annoyed by how easy it was for him to pull complete bullshit out of thin air.

 

Harvey tightened his arm around Mike’s waist almost painfully and moved his lips to his ear. “How much have you been drinking? Are you drunk?”

 

“You’re two hours late and it’s an open bar. Do the math.” Mike couldn’t stand to look at him now so he just kept looking ahead. Not only had he been caught exposing Harvey’s lie, but he’d failed at doing so. And now his eyelids were a little heavy and his inhibitions may have been a little compromised, but he wasn’t drunk. If he was, his heart wouldn’t have been racing so nervously in his chest at the feeling of Harvey’s breath hot and light on his ear and his hand so solid on his body. He supposed they must have looked like a couple to anyone who happened to glance their way, but there was nothing affectionate about the contact. He was in big fucking trouble, and he knew he’d earned it.

 

Josh handed Harvey and Mike each a flute of champagne and took another for himself.

 

Harvey raised his glass. “Congratulations on your settlement.”

 

“Likewise, friend!” Josh touched his glass to Harvey’s and they each drank.

 

Mike’s fingers tightened around the stem of his glass. He’d had enough. “Washroom?” He asked to nobody in particular, glancing around for a sign.

 

Josh pointed to the opposite side of the bar and Mike finally managed to slip from Harvey’s grasp as he placed his full glass down on the bar. He just needed a moment to himself. He kept his eyes on the floor, lest he become entangled in a polite conversation with someone he didn’t feel like talking to, until he eventually found a short hallway leading to the door to the men’s room. Actually, the gendered signs on the doors were artfully ambiguous so he picked one at random.

 

Mike sighed in relief as the door closed behind him, muting the music and conversation he’d escaped. The first thing he noticed was that there was no condom dispenser inside the clean, single-occupant washroom. He found only an arrangement of bamboo and some nice looking toiletries. Mike really didn’t feel classy enough to piss here, but he did anyway. When he was done, he didn’t want to leave. Maybe he should just apologize to Harvey right away and admit his mistake. Because that’s what it had been. He shouldn’t have bothered going to the party at all under false pretenses if he was just going to come clean. He was more than a little annoyed that Harvey had arrived two hours late to the gathering that he’d pressured Mike to attend, but his retaliation was thoughtless.

 

He took a deep breath and opened the door, reminding himself that Harvey wasn’t going to yell at him in front of all those people, but his breath caught in his throat and he froze up when he saw Harvey leaning against the wall opposite the door to the washroom, arms crossed, jaw tense. The ease he’d displayed in front of Josh was gone. The man was not pleased.

 

They locked eyes for a moment before Harvey pushed himself off the wall and stepped towards Mike, nodding towards the door. When Mike didn’t move, Harvey grabbed his wrist and pulled him into the washroom, shutting and locking the door quietly behind them.

 

“What the hell was that?” Harvey seemed more confused than angry.

 

Mike forced himself to stop grinding his teeth and said: “I’m sorry.” It was desperate, but true.

 

“Right.” Not good enough.

 

“I made a mistake. I’m glad you were there to fix it. He believes you. He’s happy.” Mike shrugged. “That’s all I have to say. Let’s just forget it. Please.” He wanted to blame Harvey for being late but it wouldn’t have helped him.

 

Harvey nodded a little, examining him. The room felt heavy and Mike couldn’t understand why they were still in there.

 

“All I want to know is why you came here if you weren’t willing to hold up your end.” Harvey’s tone was too even.

 

“I know, okay?” Mike sighed, having already asked himself the same question. “But you told me to come.”

 

“I asked you.”

 

“Not really.”

 

“You said it yourself: this isn’t work. You didn’t have to be here. So why bother if you can’t handle it?”

 

“Handle it?” Harvey’s choice of words pissed him off, but maybe he was right. “I didn’t plan to sabotage you. I had a few drinks, I was pissed at you for not being here, Josh was...” Mike swallowed, at a loss for words. “He... brought something up and I felt like a dick. It came out.”

 

Harvey exhaled and shrugged off whatever it was he was holding onto, then moved to open the door.

 

“And don’t say I can’t handle it,” Mike tacked on.

 

Harvey turned back around with a weary grimace playing at the corner of his mouth. “You just proved that you can’t.”

 

“I think I handled everything pretty well considering what an unfair position you put me in.” Lying about the half-fake secret was a little more complicated for him than Harvey knew. “I came here as a favour to you because for some reason you think I should be here tonight, even though you know I’m against the whole thing, and you totally left me hanging. I know you won’t tell me why you were late, so I won’t ask.”

 

After a few seconds of impatient consideration, glancing at his reflection in the mirror, Harvey finally nodded. “Sorry about that.” He rubbed his eyes. “I’m sorry, you’re sorry, we’re all sorry. Okay? You were right, it was stupid to come here.” He sounded more rushed than sincere.

 

Mike could live with being right, but he was a little alarmed by how easy Harvey had come to a resolution.

 

“Let’s just go say goodnight and you can go home.” Harvey sounded exhausted. Regardless of what he’d been up to, clearly things hadn’t gone as planned for him.

 

“It looked weird, us not showing up together,” Mike pointed out. “We should at least leave together.”

 

“Yeah, we’ll go now.”

 

Mike raked his fingernails across his scalp. “I waited for you all night so you could grace us with your presence for two minutes and take off again?”

 

“My plans changed,” Harvey told him sternly.

 

“Plans,” Mike mused. “So there’s actually a _reason_ you wanted to come here,” he pressed carefully. “Right? Other than the usual champagne and praise. Don’t I get to know how I factor into your plans?”

 

Harvey chewed his lip a moment before shaking his head. “Forget about it. Let’s get out of here.”

 

“Hold on -- what aren’t you telling me?” Now that it was clear that Harvey really was up to something, Mike didn’t know how to back off. When he took a step towards the other man, Harvey only opened the door and walked out. Mike followed close behind.

 

The tune on the piano changed, slower now. The bass player was taking a break.

 

“I love this song,” Mike lied quickly, grabbing a fist full of Harvey’s shirtsleeve before he could say goodbye to the one host who had actually attended the gathering.

 

Harvey stiffened and turned, not wanting to look unnatural. “Really, what’s it called?” he asked, detecting Mike’s game.

 

Mike ignored the question and tugged harder on Harvey’s sleeve before moving a hand up to his shoulder. The man’s body felt so naked to him without a suit jacket.

 

“Come on,” Harvey whispered, subtly resisting while trying to cloak his annoyance. He wanted to look cool, but not cold. “Trying to make me look like a bad boyfriend in front of our clients isn’t going to accomplish anything,” Harvey warned, barely veiling a note of curious amusement in his voice.

 

“We’re married, not dating,” Mike corrected, mocking Harvey’s words when he’d first revealed his plans for the charade. “Anyway, it’s called tasting your own medicine. I’m mad at you. You made me lie. You embarrassed me. So...” _Now I get to embarrass you._

 

“Point taken, but for the record: I never _made you do_ anything.” Harvey sighed. “Seriously, grow up. I’m not doing this...” He glanced at the front door, likely trying to determine the most efficient trajectory for his escape, but he never stepped away.

 

“Really, you’re not doing this?” Mike pulled Harvey’s reluctant arm around his waist as he spoke. “I thought you could handle it, but maybe I’m wrong.”

 

Their eyes met and for a moment Mike really expected Harvey to call him out on the spiteful reverse psychology, but instead the arm around his waist pulled him in closer and a warm hand closed around his.

 

Harvey took the lead, of course, barely stepping at all as he eased them both to the smooth tempo of the music. And even though the man was holding him close, he was testing him with his eyes, pushing him, staring him down like he actually expected Mike to be the one to fold. But why the fuck would anyone _not_ want to be the object of Harvey’s attention? Was that supposed to scare him away somehow?

 

“Why do you want this to be such a big problem for me,” Mike wondered out loud. He spoke quietly, keeping his face open and neutral so that nothing looked out of place. He had the feeling nobody had bothered to glance in their direction anyway. They were in their own little dark corner.

 

“Isn’t it?” Harvey tilted his head a little. His thumb moved against Mike’s hand. “It should be.”

 

Actually, Harvey was probably right. Mike suddenly felt a little lost. There was no real use in either of them trying to scare each other out of character to prove who was a better player at this game. But somehow he wanted to keep pushing back. They hadn’t established any strict parameters to their façade, and a persistently devious part of Mike wanted to punish Harvey for his arrogance and make him feel the way he’d made Mike feel when he threw him into this stupid lie. He was dying to know what Harvey’s breaking point was, as if that would prove Mike was a better liar. There had to be a winner, which was all too motivating. Who would flinch first? And why was it taking so long?

 

Maybe that didn’t matter. Despite the antagonistic undercurrent to the slow dance, it felt good. Really good. Mike knew he’d have to keep that to himself, and he tried not to wonder if Harvey was doing the same. It was possible.

 

“What would you do if I kissed you?” Mike asked, because he wanted to know. Surely the man wouldn’t be irresponsible enough to let it happen. Even though Mike was a little dull with drink, he still scared himself asking, although asking was safer than doing.

 

“You won’t,” Harvey answered confidently against his cheek. But before Mike could prove him wrong, prove how fearless he was, that nothing Harvey threw his way would rattle him, the other man gently let go, stepped back, and said: “That’s enough.”

 

Mike flushed, aching for one real answer as Harvey moved out of his arms and walked away from yet another question.

 

 

= = =

 

After a brief farewell to Josh and a few others, Mike followed Harvey out the front door, just as a cab pulled up to the curb to drop someone off. Mike was about to claim the soon-to-be-available ride when Harvey stopped in his tracks and turned to Mike, cutting him off.

 

“I saw it fist,” Mike protested quickly, but he forgot all about the cab the moment Harvey stepped up against him and placed a hand on his cheek.

 

Maybe he should have acted more surprised when Harvey kissed him. He really was surprised, maybe even shocked, but that feeling was drowned out by the immediate wave of heat, need, and relief. He closed his eyes and grabbed Harvey’s arm, parting his lips to match Harvey’s startling fervour, sucking the man’s tongue into his mouth when he felt the tip against his own. It was almost too much to process and the confusion of it nearly pulled him out of the moment. Mike didn’t know why this was happening when there were no clients outside to prove anything to, and he didn’t care if it was a game or a test or some kind of humiliating punishment or if it was real. It was so much, so fast, and neither of them were making a move for the breaks. He told himself that it probably could have been anyone kissing him now and the gratitude for the contact could have been just the same with any other warm body – he was in that kind of mood – but still, he had let go of the kiss to catch a glimpse of the face he knew so well, just to convince himself that it was really Harvey.

 

Harvey touched his forehead to Mike’s, a hand resting at the back of his neck with the other still cupping his face.

 

“Is this for real?” Mike asked breathlessly.

 

Harvey blinked a couple of times and answered: “No.”

 

The warm breath on Mike’s lips begged him to press in for another kiss before they had to come back to the real world and – god forbid – talk about it. But this time, Harvey ducked his head and dropped his hand from Mike’s cheek.

 

“Sorry,” Harvey murmured quietly.

 

Mike’s eyes caught Harvey’s, trying to decipher whether what he was looking at was shame or regret, when a familiar voice gave him a start.

 

“You’re leaving?” It was Marco, stepping away from the cab that Mike had been ready to get into. He looked tired, stone-faced, and just as withdrawn as usual.

 

Mike let go of Harvey’s arm, feeling caught, forgetting for a moment how normal this was supposed to look.

 

“Afraid so,” Harvey apologized, letting his hand slide away from Mike’s neck and settle on his back. “I didn’t think you could be here.”

 

“Well, here I am.”

 

Marco gave an apathetic nod and walked past them without acknowledging Mike at all, which was probably for the best because he was still high on the kiss and couldn’t think straight enough to form an appropriate sentence or two.

 

When the door of the bar closed behind Marco, Harvey’s arm dropped away from Mike’s back, leaving him cold.

 

“Cab’s all yours,” Harvey offered, his voice a little rough. He was putting on an air of indifference but Mike knew it was bullshit. It had to be. How could he not feel anything about what he had just done?

 

“I... don’t want it.” Mike heard himself sound out the words but that was all he could do. He was still frozen, heart racing, the residual warmth of the other man’s hands, tongue, and lips still sinking deeper into his body.

 

“Great. Have a good weekend.” Harvey moved towards the cab but Mike followed.

 

Harvey hesitated before turning and placing a hand against Mike’s chest, stopping him in his tracks. “You can’t come with me.”

 

“I know, I just...” Mike stammered, trying to put what he wanted into words. Something between a short explanation and a long fuck. Couldn’t Harvey just save them both the trouble and read his mind? There was something more going on here that he didn’t understand, but he didn’t care anymore.

 

Harvey sighed in exasperation, and Mike noticed that someone else had just hopped into the cab, slamming the door behind them.

 

“I’ll get you another cab,” Harvey said quietly but firmly as the one they’d had their eye on was already driving away.

 

“You mean before I go back in there and say something that might embarrass you?”

 

“You’re drunk. You should go home.”

 

Mike was a dizzy and he was disoriented, but he wasn’t _that_ drunk. He reached out and caught the other man's sleeve as he stepped onto the curb. Harvey just tugged his sleeve free of Mike’s grasp casually, as if he hadn’t even noticed, and put his hand in his pocket, pouring all his focus into the thin, oncoming traffic.

 

Mike’s blood was boiling. He should have expected this. If he’d been smart he would have pretended that nothing had happened. That’s probably what Harvey wanted, whatever his reasons were for doing what he did. Harvey never did anything for no good reason.

 

“Yeah, get me a cab,” Mike agreed half-heartedly. “Say goodnight. It’s your call. Not like I ever have a say in anything.” Mike fidgeted lazily with the ring on his finger while Harvey actively ignored him. “I can’t figure out if you’re too stupid to know what you’re doing or too scared to admit that you’re doing it on purpose.” Mike surprised even himself with his words, catching his tongue and looking up to see that he’d earned the briefest glare over Harvey’s shoulder. Another one for the _forget-I-said-it_ file.

 

Finally a second cab rolled up to the curb, but Mike wasn’t interested in being an easy mess to clean up anymore. None of this was his fault. When he didn’t make a move to get into the car, Harvey grabbed him by the arm and tugged him roughly to the curb, opening the back door and pushing him into the seat. The urgency in the man’s touch surprised him.

 

“I’m going to do you a favour and _not_ mention this ever again,” Harvey insisted sternly, one arm braced on the door as he stared down at Mike. “You’ll thank me tomorrow. Not literally.”

 

Mike laughed. He figured that was coming. “Don’t act like you’ve ever done me any favours.”

 

The look on Harvey’s face was cold and maybe a little stunned. He opened his mouth to speak, and then glanced at the driver before pulling Mike back out onto the sidewalk.

 

“Really? I don’t know how you can say that, after everything I’ve invested—“

 

“In an endless source of entertainment. Right?” Mike found his footing.

 

Harvey didn’t let go. He tightened his grip on Mike’s arms. “What do you want from me. Huh?”

 

“An explanation,” Mike suggested.

 

Harvey nodded, his eyes hard. “Okay. You’re a hot little piece and I knew you’d let me do it, so I did it. Alright? It doesn’t _mean_ anything. Don’t be such a child. I should have known you’d take it too seriously.”

 

Mike bit his lip. Harvey’s words hurt, even if he was right. Mike’s impulse was to hurt him back, put him down, but he was so strong, so close, Mike could feel him, smell his cologne, hear the rustle of their clothes brushing together and it gave him a rush that made him shake, and he couldn’t get any words out.

 

The cabbie gave the horn a short burst but Mike could barely hear it through the sound of his own pulse rushing through his ears. Harvey’s gaze was so heavy, sinking right into Mike’s brain with no effort at all. When he finally stepped away and broke eye contact, Mike felt something being torn out of him.

 

_Shit, don’t go. I’m sorry. Just kiss me again and I’ll pretend it doesn’t mean a thing._

Harvey shrugged. “It’s just a game.” His confession was empty, his voice flat. “I thought you knew that. But you’re not having fun, so...” He shrugged and swallowed hard. “Do whatever you want. I don’t care. Just warn me first if you decide to file for sexual harassment.”

 

Mike watched Harvey get in the cab that he’d flagged down and shut the door. In seconds, he was gone.

 

_What the fuck just happened?_

Mike let out the shaken breath he didn’t know he’d been holding and tasted salt in the corner of his lips when he parted them to exhale. He quickly wiped his cheeks with his sleeve, humiliated. He sat himself down on the curb and tried to focus. He needed to break things down into manageable, bite-sized facts. He had every right to be upset with himself for going along with methods he didn’t agree with, but telling a relatively harmless lie to make a bit of money a bit faster shouldn’t have wrecked him this much. No wonder Harvey was pissed at him. He needed to stop taking everything so personally and just do the job.

 

“What’s goin’ on?”

 

Mike reluctantly glanced up over his shoulder when he realized that the gentle intrusion was directed at him. He groaned inwardly when he saw that it was Josh. He’d already embarrassed himself in front of his clients enough for one night.

 

“Nothing,” he answered. “Everything. I have no idea.”

 

Josh took the liberty of seating himself on the curb next to Mike. He had a beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other. He quietly offered Mike a smoke, and when he shook his head, he offered him the beer, clearly wanting to help and not knowing how.

 

Mike laughed softly. “I’m good.”

 

“You don’t look so good.” It was a friendly enough observation.

 

“Things are just weird with us right now. Communication problems, I guess.” Mike let out a deep sigh. It all sounded so fucking typical. “Sometimes...” He tried to give himself the opportunity to shut up but didn’t end up taking it. “Sometimes I wonder if I’d walk away if I had somewhere else to go.”

 

Mike had simply been talking to himself, trying to make sense of why he was feeling so fucked up, so he wasn’t expecting it when the person who happened to be sitting next to him responded.

 

“I know what you mean,” Josh said.

 

“Do you actually know what I mean, though?” Mike couldn’t bring himself to look over and have this conversation face to face with this guy who wasn’t even really his friend. “Or are you just being a good listener?”

 

“I know.”

 

Mike chewed his lip for a second before he reached over with clumsy fingers and took the beer from Josh’s hand. He took a swig, just to keep his mouth busy. He’d been dangerously close to saying too much all night.

 

Josh’s now free hand eventually found Mike’s back where it rest there in an act of comfort that didn’t seem to come very naturally. It still felt good and steady.

 

“Marco still won’t come out to his family.” Josh crushed his cigarette on the pavement between his shoes. “And with the lawsuit and everything, I mean... if not now, then when?”

 

“Yeah.” Never having been in a serious relationship with a man, Mike had never felt the need to ‘come out’ as anything to anyone. He drank again, trying not to think about his own parents.

 

“I just don’t think it’s ever going to happen,” Josh continued. “But it’s not just his parents, he’s like that with everyone. I don’t like secrets. I don’t have a clue what’s going through his head most of the time and I can tell myself that I love him and that loving him should be enough, but sometimes I feel like I don’t even know him.”

“Fuck.” Mike couldn’t talk about this anymore. He didn’t have the answers. He closed his eyes as the hand on his back moved up and down. The touch came more easily to both of them now.

 

“Too much information, I know,” Josh apologised.

 

“It’s fine.” It wasn’t fine, it was way too familiar.

 

Josh’s hand was at Mike’s neck now, fingers nudging his hair line.

 

“That feel better?”

 

Mike nodded. It did feel better. He didn’t even care whose hand it was on his neck, he was just grateful for the contact. It reminded him what it felt like to have friends and family. Those were roles that Harvey would never fill and he needed to stop allowing himself to believe otherwise. Every time he thought they were warming up to each other, Harvey did something to shut him out. It was never going to happen.

 

“Better than nothing though, right?” Mike heard himself thinking out loud.

 

“Come on,” Josh coaxed, massaging Mike’s scalp with his fingertips. “If you didn’t want to settle, you wouldn’t have to. I mean you’ve got a good job. You’re smart. Funny. Hot.”

 

“Stop,” Mike mumbled, the moment he realized that this wasn’t supposed to be happening.

 

“Why?” Josh didn’t stop moving his fingers through Mike’s hair.

 

Mike took a few deep breaths, tipped his head back, and swallowed the rest of the beer. “I could have my license suspended.” That was another lie.

 

“For what?” He touched his head to Mike’s.

 

Mike closed his eyes and felt the bottle slip from his fingers onto the ground with a sharp thud. All he had to do was angle his head a few inches to the right, and it was done. After the briefest rush of excitement, the wrong-ness won out over the goodness of the chaste kiss.

 

Mike pulled away and stood up, trying not to taste his lips. “I’m really sorry, that was a big mistake.”

 

“My fault, forget about it.”

 

Mike looked down at Josh and wondered if people would ever stop telling him to forget things.

 

“So... I guess it’s safe to say that he told you then, huh?”

 

“What do you mean?” Mike didn’t even know who they were talking about.

 

“You know, about him and...” Mike must have given away is ignorance because suddenly Josh looked anxious.

 

“And?”

 

“And uh... you know, him and... and Marco.”

 

The ‘him’ must have been Harvey but Mike wasn’t sure he understood what he was hearing.

 

“Oh fuck.” Josh’s face fell. “Please tell me you know. I thought – isn’t that why you’re so bummed?”

 

Mike shook his head, trying to piece together some details and coming up blank.

 

Josh pulled himself to his feet. “But you guys seemed so tense tonight, I thought that’s why. And then with them both showing up late... ”

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Mike admitted. Was this about something that had happened, or something that was currently happening? And why the fuck did he feel so betrayed? He barely had a sense of what Josh was suggesting and Harvey didn’t belong to him anyway, so why did it matter?

 

Harvey was keeping something from him. Deliberately. That’s why it mattered.

 

“ _Shit_ , I didn’t say anything, okay?” Josh rubbed his eyes. “And I mean, don’t worry, it’s definitely, definitely in the past. That’s what Marco kept telling me when I kept bugging him to get in touch with his lawyer-ex-boyfriend to help us. He couldn’t believe it when Harvey took us on pro-bono, he didn’t even think he’d return the phone call. So if they were together tonight—“

 

“Oh.” Well, that explained it. He felt like a complete idiot for not seeing it sooner.

 

“I’m sure it’s nothing. Don’t you think?”

 

Mike almost laughed at Josh’s genuine terror and remorse for the disclosure and speculation. “It’s really fine, don’t worry about it,” Mike consoled, a little numb. “I kind of thought maybe there was something going on. But it’s probably nothing, like you said. I’m glad you told me.” He wasn’t glad that Harvey had been keeping something from him, but he was glad it might help to explain why he’d been behaving so strangely.

 

“I have to go back in,” Josh said after a moment of thought.

 

“Of course.”

 

Josh pulled Mike into a quick but sturdy hug, pat him on the back, and disappeared into the bar with that well-rehearsed smile back in place.

 

Mike saw a cab and ignored it, walking west instead. It wasn’t time to go home yet. And although he told himself not to even consider contacting Harvey, his cell phone was in hand by the time he reached the end of the block.

 

_How do you know Marco?_

And by the time he hit the corner of the next block, Harvey responded:

 

_The fact that you’re asking tells me you already know._

Mike exhaled. He had the whole weekend to take his mind off things and promised himself not to give Harvey another thought until it became necessary come Monday morning. He took the scenic route to his bar of choice, killing more time than he had, enjoying the fragrant lilacs hanging over the sidewalks in front of brownstones and café patios decorated with string lights. He didn’t know the kinds of people who lived around here, and that’s why he liked it on the west side. The air was humid, but cool – the kind of climate that made skin-on-skin contact almost unbearable, and he needed it bad.

There had been a foolish, selfish thought flickering in the back of his mind over the past few weeks that maybe Harvey was doing this just as an excuse to get a little closer to him. But it wasn’t about Mike at all, and it wasn’t about fast tracking the case. It was all about Marco. What exactly Harvey had been out to prove, Mike still wasn’t sure. The jealousy and rejection biting into him, however unwarranted, felt very real. Harvey had only kissed him at the moment when Marco would see it happen.

 

 _Don’t ever use me like that again_ , Mike started typing into his phone... then gave in to himself and deleted the first two words.

 

_Use me like that again._

Mike didn’t wait for a response. He turned off his phone, rounded one last corner, and jogged up a dark, narrow staircase to the bar that was almost too familiar to return to, but the only way he knew how to wash away Harvey’s touch was with someone else’s. 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Life gave me lemons, so I'm splitting the second half into two. Now this is a three-parter. Part three is almost done, but since I've kept you waiting so long I decided to post a little now and the rest very soon. Aside from life and work-related reasons for taking so long to update, this fic wasn't going to have much sexual content and that changed big time, which is why it's way longer now and has consumed more time than planned. Thanks for sticking around! I really, really appreciate it!
> 
> Thanks again to LittleGirlTree for fixing all my stupid typos and making the logic happen!

= = =

 

Mike didn’t think that wearing a wedding band would make it harder to pick up guys. It’s not that nobody was interested – at a certain point he had to hide his hand because people were _too_ interested and he literally couldn’t get the damn thing off. It was almost claustrophobic.

 

_Ever been with another man? Does your wife know you’re here? Aren’t you a little young for a mid-life crisis?_

It was really hard to take his mind off Harvey when he was forced to acknowledge the ring that the man had given him. The whole point of a wedding band must have been to make cheating a pain in the ass.

 

Eventually he found a quiet guy with a tattoo on his neck willing to get to the point and seemed not to notice or care about whether or not he was single. Mike only made it half-way up the second set of stairs to the private rooms when the guy moved up behind him and kissed his jaw, and he didn’t mean to push him away, but he realized that he just wasn’t feeling it and it wasn’t going to happen tonight. The guy muttered something about wasting his time when Mike left without a reason or apology.

 

By the time Mike got home he was starting to sober up and the anxiety over how he’d behaved with Harvey began to set in. Harvey hadn’t exactly been a class-act himself and he hoped that maybe he felt something like regret, too. But just in case Harvey wasn’t sorry, Mike left his phone off. He showered and collapsed naked and wet onto his bed, entertaining the idea of jerking off but didn’t get around to it before he fell asleep twisting the ring on his finger.

 

On Sunday he couldn’t bring himself to turn his phone back on or check his e-mails. Once he’d managed to coax the little gold bastard off his finger, the events of the night before seemed so bizarre it was almost like it never happened. What was there to say? Maybe Harvey was right – best not to mention it again. They had both been stupid.

 

Come Monday morning Mike knew he needed to be available again and switched his phone back on while he was getting ready for work. Having prepared himself for a deluge of scolding messages, he wasn’t sure if he was worried or relieved when there was nothing from Harvey at all.

 

Until he was locking up his bike outside work. His pocket vibrated. Harvey.

 

_I will handle all meetings today. You handle proofing the briefs on your desk._

It was a fairly diplomatic way of telling Mike that Harvey had no desire to interact with him whatsoever, which was pretty much expected. That little, misguided blurb – _use me like that again_ —hovering ignored above Harvey’s text was probably one of many good indicators of why Harvey was trying to put some distance between them. Mike certainly hadn’t made things easier for either one of them. He still craved the satisfaction of a response – _any_ response – and Harvey’s refusal to acknowledge his words, though frustrating, was probably more telling than anything he could have put into words.

 

= = =

 

Harvey had left enough work on Mike’s desk to keep him busy for the day so he didn’t have an opportunity or a reason to go speak to the man. Mike still felt he was owed something, whether it was an apology or an explanation or even just a candid acknowledgement that he was manipulative jerk, but he also didn’t want to make things any more uncomfortable than they already were. He wasn’t going to barge in there and be a dick about it, but he wasn’t going to let the busywork allow him to hide, either. Fortunately, he had a completely appropriate segue back to the issue and Harvey could either take it or leave it.

 

Mike glanced at the clock (as good a time as any to take a break), closed the folder in front of him, and pulled a small envelope out of his backpack.

 

Donna was on the phone when he approached Harvey’s office but she just nodded when she saw him and continued with her conversation. Mike was put at ease knowing that Harvey hadn’t given her any instructions to keep him at bay. Still, he was careful enough to rap on the door politely to alert Harvey to his presence before he opened it and stepped in, holding up the folded white envelope between his fingers.

 

Harvey looked up from his work but didn’t put his pen down.

 

“I assume I have no reason to hold on to this?” Mike showed Harvey the envelope containing the ring. His heart raced a little, nervously, seeing Harvey for the first time since he’d scolded him in the street. He knew the man didn’t want him in his office.

 

“None that I can think of.” He pointed to the desk in front of him and continued skimming through a stack of papers with the tip of his pen, keeping one eye on Mike as he approached.

 

Mike tapped the corner of the envelope against the desk twice. “Must be valuable.”

 

“It is. Thanks for not pawning it.” Harvey raised an eyebrow and made an idle grab for the envelope but Mike took a step back.

 

Harvey dropped his pen and let out an exaggerated sigh as he leaned back in his chair. It was almost enough to make Mike smile, watching Harvey come to understand that a discussion was inevitable.

 

“What do you want,” Harvey asked in resignation. “You want me to _buy_ it back from you?”

 

“I’ll give it back after you buy me lunch.” Mike put the envelope in his pocket. He didn’t want his sweaty hands to betray his cool exterior by leaving prints on the paper.

 

“What for? You want to talk about it? Is that it?”

 

Mike nodded.

 

Harvey squinted and shifted in his chair. “Remember that favour I was going to do you?”

 

“Yeah, that forgetting-about-it thing was for you, not for me,” Mike pointed out.

 

“You don’t know what’s good for you.”

 

“And you do?” Harvey’s deflection was low and offhand, but there was something about it that struck Mike as truly odd. If Harvey was trying to say that he knew better than Mike did what was good for him, then he should have known better than to play games. That wasn’t good for anybody.

 

Harvey didn’t answer. Busted.

 

“Look, I’m not pissed at you. I’m really not.” Mike had been waiting for the anger to settle in all morning but he wasn’t there yet. Now he couldn’t take his eyes off Harvey’s lips or hands long enough to feel anything he was supposed to feel. “And I don’t care about your personal life or your history or how you choose to handle your clients, and I get that sometimes business is personal...” Harvey was really listening now. “But when you get me involved in something personal, I just need to know where that line is when you’re asking me to cross it. That’s all.” Mike shrugged. “I think that’s fair. Don’t you?”

 

Harvey eventually nodded. He glanced away and Mike followed his gaze to Donna, who was pretending to pour all her concentration into a day planner on her desk.

 

“So I give you this discussion, you give _that_ back to me, and we can close the file on this thing? For good?”

 

“If that’s what you want.” Mike swallowed. Maybe they could tear a page out of that file to keep for a rainy day before closing it completely, but that wasn’t something he was prepared to ask for. “I really don’t think I could make it any easier for you.”

 

Harvey made his decision. “Not lunch. Coffee. We’re back here in fifteen minutes. And you’re buying.”

 

“Yeah. Good.” Mike tried not to sound too pleased. Harvey must have felt really guilty if he was willing to give Mike some time on the subject. It wasn’t usually this easy to get him out for a meal, even without an awkward weekend hanging between them.

 

= = =

 

Twenty minutes later they were still waiting for their food. The menus had been thrust in front of them against their consent when they were seated on the café’s patio and it turned out they were both pretty hungry.

 

“So how did you meet?”

Harvey leaned back in his chair. “Why does that matter?” He stretched his arm out along the patio railing that divided the high-end diners from the common folk on the sidewalk.

 

“Context?”

 

“Harvard. Next question.”

 

“But he works retail.”

 

Harvey laughed. “Find me a retail clerk in New York who isn’t college educated. Anyway, he wasn’t studying law.”

 

“So you... dated? At school?” Mike had to remind himself that they were past tip-toeing around certain revelations at this point.

 

Harvey didn’t answer at first. Even though this was something he knew Mike understood by now, putting it into words seemed to be difficult. “You could say that. But I don’t see why you’re asking–”

 

“Actually I don’t even think I should have to ask at all,” Mike said, his patience cut short by Harvey’s indifference. He was owed answers and he couldn’t let it slide, no matter how much he’d enjoy having a quiet, easy meal with this man. “You know better than I do what I should know. It’s whatever you deliberately chose not to tell me, so why don’t you just tell me everything now so I can forgive you?”

 

Harvey looked like a deer in the headlights who had already come to terms with his fate. After a few moments he cleared his throat. “I guess it goes without saying that I didn’t really expect to get so...”

 

“Stupid?”

 

“Carried away.”

 

They both breathed in the silence of their table surrounded by noisy executives and interior designers speaking over each other with mouths full of bread and wine.

 

“He called you.” Mike figured that was a good place to start.

 

Harvey nodded. “Not his idea. Joshua’s.”

 

“Josh told me that Marco didn’t even expect you to return the call.”

 

“Things didn’t exactly end well between us,” Harvey admitted. “Surprise, surprise.”

 

“So why’d you take his case on pro bono?” Harvey opened his mouth before Mike was finished asking the question, but predicting his response, Mike said: “Other than the bullshit reasons you already gave me.”

 

Harvey was chewing on an answer when their food arrived quietly at the table. Neither of them ate.

 

“It’s a pride thing,” Harvey answered finally, as if that was good enough.

 

“What pride thing?”

 

“You know.”

 

“I actually have no idea.”

 

Harvey exhaled sharply, shifting in his chair. “When he broke it off with me, he said that I’d never...” He shook his head and looked away. “All that bitter crap people call each other out on when they split, yadda-yadda... you know how it goes. And he was right, in a way...”

 

“So?”

 

“So maybe he doesn’t need to be right again. Sometimes someone just needs to be proven _wrong_ for once in his whole goddamn superior life. I wanted to rub it in his face, how wrong he was. Even if you can’t understand why I needed to piss on his ego, I know how petty it is and I don’t need to hear it from you, too. So I didn’t tell you.” Harvey shook out his napkin and dropped it on his lap. “I don’t need to tell you this,” he mumbled. “This is none of your business.” He picked up his fork, shaking his head as he began to feed himself some roasted potatoes.

 

Mike sat there, frozen, almost in awe of how quickly he saw Harvey’s book open up and slam closed again. He’d skimmed over what was probably the most important thing he was trying to say. Harvey was ashamed of himself. Embarrassment, Mike had anticipated. Guilt, he’d hoped for. Shame was something he’d rarely seen glimpses of in his mentor.

 

Harvey put his fork down, swallowed and cleared his throat. He looked at Mike.

 

Mike looked back at him. He needed the rest, and he could wait.

 

“I wouldn’t have picked you if I thought that there was any chance you might have misconstrued...” He sighed. “You were just _there_. The case was legit, the spite was a bonus. You weren’t supposed to think I was leading you on. I just wanted to piss him off. That’s all.” Harvey managed to shrug it off like enlisting Mike as his imaginary life partner was just a minor footnote. “And if I thought he really wanted me to take the case, I don’t think Iwould have.”

 

“So, what, I’m like the fake date you bring to a high school reunion to impress the girl who wouldn’t go to prom with you? You could have just hired someone, that’s usually what people do.”

 

“Right, like who?”

 

“It didn’t have to be me.”

 

“Yes it did,” Harvey insisted. “As much as you think it was pure bullshit, it did help our relationship with the clients. As far as my extra-curricular motives are concerned, speaking objectively here, you are impressive.”

 

Mike took a sip of cool water.

 

“And, to an extent, I _thought_ you were trustworthy. And not that you care, but it worked. It pissed him off. You made him jealous, too. Bravo.”

 

“I’m really happy for you.” Mike felt his cheeks flush but talked through it. He had to get to the core of this before he lost his nerve. “You can see how it’s possible that maybe your actions could have been misconstrued as personal interest, right?” He should have used even bigger words to make it sound less personal.

 

Harvey’s face fell a little. “Even if that was the case...” It took him a moment to find the words. “I wouldn’t have assumed that any such interpretation might have been—“

 

“You assumed that I’m straight.”

 

Harvey nodded with a shrug.

 

“Like that matters. I’ve seen your ego at work.” Mike bit into a piece of bruschetta – _rich man’s pizza_ , he liked to call it – even though his stomach was too knotted with anxiety now to properly digest food. He chewed slowly, letting Harvey take the floor.

 

“I’d say you’ve got it all figured out,” said Harvey. “I doubt you need me to contribute anything more to this conversation. Are we done?”

 

“Do you want to be done?” Mike took another bite, but he couldn’t eat his words.

 

“Mike, you know the answer to that is a lot more complicated than the question.”

 

Mike stopped chewing. Harvey’s matter-of-fact response was startling. He knew the meaning of what Harvey said intuitively but he couldn’t stop his brain from trying to dissect his answer from every angle. It was open-ended, but it was an answer.

 

“Maybe you don’t understand.” Harvey visibly resigned and let it all out as quickly as possible. “This guy is such an asshole, you have no idea. When he ended it he gave me this big speech about how I had no future when it came to my career or my relationships,” Harvey explained, like it totally justified what he’d done. “He said I was such an expert at loving myself that nobody else would ever measure up. And all that shit,” he added with a wave of his hand. “Nobody should let something like that go. Not when it comes from someone who matters to them. _Mattered_ ,” he corrected quickly.

 

“Well it’s true, isn’t it?”

“Not the career part.”

 

“Which is the part you can’t quote directly after 10-odd years, because it didn’t bother you as much. Because that was the thing he was actually wrong about.” Mike wiped his mouth with his napkin. They were only sort of talking about the issue. In the light of Monday afternoon it was hard to talk about the inappropriate touches between them on Saturday night. It felt like a fantasy, hardly even real. Well, it was never _real_ , exactly, but at the very least it was _actual._

 

Harvey put down his fork. “My relationship status is a choice. How I conduct my personal life is a choice. I lead a very fulfilling life in every respect. It’s not some fateful end that I’m not married. It’s just not what I want. That doesn’t mean I can’t have it.”

 

“But... it’s something that you’re okay _pretending_ to have, just to spite an ex?”

 

Harvey sighed and dropped his napkin onto his barely-touched plate.

 

“Don’t act like I’m giving you such a hard time,” said Mike. “You didn’t honestly think you can do what you did and not have account for it?”

 

“What’s the problem?” Harvey leaned in, his voice low. “Specifically, _what_ is your _problem_?”

 

“You don’t have to get so defensive. I’m not judging you.” Mike tried to keep his voice calm and smooth. “I guess I just wanted to say that...” He swallowed. The reality was too tempting to withhold. “I still would have gone along with it – all of it – if you’d told me the truth. And I still will, if you want. And if that makes me irresponsible, so be it.” He took another bite of his too-hot bruschetta and acted like what he was saying was no big deal.

 

Harvey watched him chew with a heavy gaze, eventually looking away with a roll of his eyes that landed across the street. “That’s not how it goes,” he said. “I’m a jerk. I know that. You’re not supposed to...” He scratched his forehead and dragged his gaze back to Mike. “I don’t _want_ you to be okay with what I did, because _I’m_ sure as hell not okay with it. And if I thought there was even the remotest chance in hell that you might feel something anywhere on the scale that doesn’t fall between contempt and indifference, I never would have asked you to pretend, let alone...” Harvey shook his head and pushed his plate away. “If I thought you were going to like it, I wouldn’t have done it. Just like if I thought Marco really wanted me to take his case, I wouldn’t have taken it.”

 

Mike exhaled slowly and tried to hide embarrassment with a few scraps of courage. “Thanks for clearing that up.” He wanted to ask why, but Harvey didn’t need to explain it to him.

 

Harvey straightened in his chair and glanced around a moment before catching the attention of a waiter, signalling for the cheque. He drummed his fingers on the table as he waited anxiously.

 

“Why are you so tense?” Harvey’s spiking anxiety level was making Mike feel like the calm one, and for that he was almost grateful.

 

“You want to know why I’m so tense? Okay. Sure.” Harvey dug into his pocket and pulled out his cellphone. After a few taps to the screen, he dropped it face-up on the table in front of Mike.

 

_Use me like that again._

Mike looked down at the message he’d sent for a few seconds, knowing what it was before setting eyes on it, then finally looked back up at Harvey and asked: “So what about it?”

 

“ _What about it_?” Harvey blinked a few times, formulating a logical response. “How am I supposed to interpret this? Can I buy a typo?”

 

Mike realized that he really wasn’t prepared for Harvey to bring it up. “So we both got something extra out of working this settlement. Is that bad?” Harvey’s expression told him that it was, but he continued. “You got to piss off your ex, and I got to be the centre of your attention for a little while. So fucking what? It’s not exactly breaking news that I like it when you pay attention to me.” Jesus. He hoped this wasn’t news. Otherwise he might have to start feeling humiliated.

 

“If it’s attention you need, maybe you should be a little more discerning about the _kind_ of attention.”

 

“I didn’t choose how I feel.” Something about admitting that left a sting in his chest.

 

“Then that’s something you need to deal with,” said Harvey. “Leave me out of it.”

 

“How?” Mike propped his elbows onto the table and leaned in. “Harvey, you grabbed me and you kissed me on the mouth—“

 

The perceptively silent waiter lay the bill on the table between them and walked away.

 

“Okay, glad we had this discussion. Tied up all the loose ends. Any more questions?” It was probably rhetorical. Harvey was already quickly pulling a few bills from his wallet despite his earlier insistence that Mike pay.

 

“Did you like it?” It was the most honest question Mike could think to ask, and he knew it made him look pathetic, but he was aching to know. He wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about that kiss until Harvey gave him some closure. Of course it was all a show for Marco, but did that have to mean that the other man had really felt nothing?

 

“It doesn’t matter –“

 

“If it doesn’t matter then why can’t you answer me? Did you like it or not?”

 

“It wasn’t about – I didn’t do it because –“ Harvey stumbled over his words as he lay his hand over the money on the bill, staring down at the table as he considered his response with pre-emptive regret. He sucked his lower lip a moment before finally responding: “What’s not to like?”

 

Harvey’s voice was so bitter and reluctant that Mike had to second guess what he’d heard, but before he could ask again, Harvey was up and gone without casting another glance in Mike’s direction.

 

“You forgot the ring,” Mike said to the empty chair across from him.

 

= = =

 

Mike did his best not to chase Harvey back to work and made himself stay in his cubicle until a reasonable amount of time had passed, but not so reasonable that Harvey would have gone home for the night. When he arrived outside the door to Harvey’s office, it was empty. His briefcase was still on his desk and the pen on his desk lay a few inches from the lid. The state of his desk told Mike that Harvey was still in the building.

 

“He’s in a meeting,” Donna explained, leaning back comfortably in a chair. “Anything I can help you with?” She crossed her legs, chewing on the end of a pen... Mike was pretty sure he saw a porno that started like this once.

 

“Do you know when he’ll be back?”

 

“Not specifically.”

 

“I’ll wait.”

 

“A watched pot never boils,” Donna chimed, returning her attention to the computer on her desk.

 

As Mike stared into Harvey’s office, he wondered if Donna was trying to tell him that he was being avoided.

 

“Mike, is there something I can help you with, or...?” Donna seemed sincere but impatient. “I didn’t know anything about this meeting until about five minutes ago, and I honestly don’t know when it’s going to end so standing here waiting probably isn’t the most productive use of your time, not that I don’t like the view.”

 

Mike sighed, his fingers crumpling the envelope in his hand. There really was a lot of paperwork he needed to get through and maybe if Harvey didn’t tell him about this meeting it was because he didn’t want to see him at the moment. In honesty, it was understandable. Mike probably should have been doing his best to avoid the man for more reasons than he could count, but everything inside him was trying to push him as close to Harvey as he could get, even if it was only to feel Harvey push him away again.

 

“Maybe you can give this to him,” Mike decided, placing the wrinkled envelope on Donna’s desk.

 

Donna opened the flap and peeked in. “You should bring me jewelry more often.”

 

“Because you know my taste in ladies’ accessories is impeccable,” Mike joked.

 

“You’re right,” Donna agreed, curiously emptying the contents of the envelope into her palm. “Better stick to caffeinated beverages... _whoa_.”

 

Mike was just turning to leave when the change in Donna’s tone stopped him. “What? What does _whoa_ mean?”

 

Donna held up the ring to her face, examining it carefully. “Ain’t you a sight for sore eyes.”

 

“Is that yours? Harvey told me it’s on loan.” It was difficult for Mike to understand how Donna could recognize such a simple, nondescript gold band. She wasn’t supposed to have a photographic memory, after all.

 

Donna thought for a moment. “It’s not mine, but I guess you could say Harvey’s borrowing it. This is what he made you wear? Really?”

 

Mike nodded, wondering for the hundredth time exactly how much she knew about his agreement with Harvey and if she knew any more than he did.

 

“This thing sure gets around,” said Donna as she tucked the ring back into the envelope. “I remember when I found this in Harvey’s apartment he insisted I borrow it to fend off the droves of men battling for my affections when I was in my totally unavailable New-York-City-is-my-boyfriend phase a few years back.” Donna handed Mike back the envelope. “It didn’t work.”

 

Mike tried not to let the familiar experience show in his expression. He stood and waited patiently with innocence and curiosity knowingly painted all over his face.

 

Donna caved easily. “Family heirloom. His brother inherited it but for some reason he thought Harvey would be a better candidate for keeping it in the family. Harvey disagrees, but he can’t get rid of it.”

 

Mike nodded and reluctantly pushed the envelope across Donna’s desk. “Maybe you could give it back to him when you see him.”

 

Donna held Mike’s eyes as she pushed it back to him with the bottom of her pen. “Maybe he would have taken it back by now if he wanted it back.”

 

“Is it cursed or something?” Mike was still struggling with whether or not Harvey was truly always willing to take what he wanted, when he wanted it, but he couldn’t say anything about that now.

 

“Last time I checked, we’re not in a Japanese horror movie so no, probably not cursed.”

 

“Okay, _The Ring_ isn’t about an actual ring, plus it’s an American adaptation–“

 

“Jeez, don’t nerd out on me here, that’s Harvey’s territory,” Donna insisted, pointedly flipping through some papers on her desk that were obviously much more important than Mike.

 

Mike couldn’t help but take pride in the fact that he and Harvey had some kind of juvenile movie territory that belonged to them alone.

 

“Maybe I should just leave this on Harvey’s desk,” Mike offered, placing his empty hand on the door.

 

“I really think you should give it back to him yourself,” Donna insisted, carefully measuring her words as she flipped a page in her binder without looking up.

 

“Okay...” Mike tried to catch Donna’s eyes but it wasn’t working for some reason. He let go of the door. “I’ll come back later.”

 

Donna glanced up at him with the briefest smile. “Do that.”

 

Mike walked away slowly, wondering if he had done something to piss her off. It was probably safe to assume that Donna was just busy, and safer still to assume that she didn’t approve of Harvey’s methods any more than Mike did and wanted to opt out of any form of mediation. She didn’t seem to appreciate not being up to date on Harvey’s meetings either. Mike decided that if she was annoyed, it wasn’t his fault.

 

Instead of going back to his paperwork, Mike made a few small detours to the kitchen and restroom. Working wasn’t coming easily to him today. He wasn’t upset or anxious anymore... he just felt out of it. It was mentally exhausting trying not to think too hard about Harvey’s confession that he had liked something about his transgression with Mike on Saturday – or rather, he couldn’t think of much to _dislike_ about it.

 

Harvey should have lied. He should have told Mike that he was disgusted by both of them and that Mike wasn’t even a good kisser. It would have stung like hell but at least it would have put his mind at ease and he’d be sitting at his desk doing his work instead of restlessly wandering the halls. It was difficult for him to understand how Harvey chose when to be honest. Coddling Mike’s self-esteem certainly couldn’t have been a prime motivator. But so what? It’s not as if he’d proclaimed some passionate desire. Mike wasn’t horribly deformed and they’d both had a few drinks. Maybe that’s all that _what’s not to like?_ meant. Just because neither of them hated kissing each other, that didn’t mean there was any reason to consider the possibility of the freak occurrence repeating itself.

 

Mike tried to imagine that there could be some enjoyment in rejecting Harvey if he ever did make another move on him. But rejecting Harvey was only a dull fantasy. He knew it was all insanely wrong, but he didn’t care. He _wanted_ it to be wrong. He couldn’t think of the last time an ethical decision turned him on.

 

As Mike passed by a nearly-empty and rarely-used conference room he had only barely registered the familiarity of the two figures inside when he heard:

 

“ _Hey. Ross!_ ”

 

Mike nearly stumbled over his own shoes, his feet uncertain of whether to freeze or to run. But when he saw Marco rise from the table and move towards the door, he knew he couldn’t drag this out into the open. In an effort to contain it – whatever it was – he opened the door and stepped into the conference room, trying to ignore the look he could feel Harvey giving him as he let the door fall shut behind him.

 

Harvey was quick to his feet when Marco gave Mike a sharp push that was so completely unprovoked he stumbled back, bumping into the door, rattling the glass in its frame.

 

“Hey!” Mike couldn’t hide how startled he was. He was beginning to suspect that there was a reason Harvey hadn’t called him into this meeting.

 

“Sit down and calm down,” Harvey demanded sternly, stepping between the two men. Mike thought he was the one being spoken to, but the man’s instructions were directed to Marco. Harvey eyed Marco briefly before looking over his shoulder at Mike. “This isn’t something you need to be here for.”

 

As much as Mike agreed that he probably wasn’t meant to be in that room, he couldn’t get a word out about trying not to let this mess boil over into the hallway because Marco cut him off.

 

“No. He stays. I want to hear _his_ side of the story.” Marco leaned back against the table, not entirely sitting down as requested. “I want to know if he’ll deny it.”

 

“Deny what?” Mike had no idea what he’d walked into. “What’s he talking about?”

 

“You made a pass at my husband,” Marco spat.

 

“I _what_?” Mike’s instinct worked quicker than his memory at times. His own strained, uncomfortable laughter sounded guilty before he even knew he was feigning ignorance. “I would never—“ One drunken kiss didn’t count, did it?

 

“How can you deny it? I _saw_ you!” Marco pushed himself off the desk and took a long stride towards Mike, but Harvey caught his arm firmly.

 

“Touch him again and I will not call security, I will call the police and I will press charges. _Sit. Down._ ”

 

Mike swallowed hard, his hairs standing on end. He had never fought so hard against an erection in all his life.

 

Harvey, cool and collected, released Marco’s arm only when he finally nodded. Mike didn’t often see Harvey make physical contact with his clients outside a firm handshake, but knowing that he and Marco had probably touched each other far more intimately in the past both made the grip on his arm seem both normal and inappropriate. They seemed so wrong for each other. Given how things had turned out, they probably were.

 

This time, Marco sat down in a chair.

 

“He’s here to lodge a complaint,” Harvey explained to Mike. It was a formal euphemism for _complaining_. “Of course, his claim has no merit since—“

 

“Harvey, I _saw_ them on the sidewalk –“

 

“Since you and your husband were no longer our clients at the time of the breach you claim to have witnessed,” Harvey finished. “As far as I’m concerned you have no business here and I’ve given you more of my time than you’re due already.”

 

Harvey and Mike stood there side by side as Marco looked back and forth between them, his pretty face slightly twisted with confusion.

 

Realizing the ring was no longer on his finger, Mike slipped his hand into his pocket, even though it probably wasn’t even worth pretending anymore. His elbow nudged Harvey’s and he had no idea if he’d made a conscious decision to stand so close to him.

 

“You’re talking about _claims_ and _merit_...” Marco dropped his hands palm-up on the table in exasperation. “Don’t you care?”

 

“You can go,” Harvey insisted, ending the meeting.

 

“He’s your partner!”

 

Mike tried to tell himself that he didn’t need to feel ashamed.

 

“Keep your voice down. We’re done.” Harvey stepped away from Mike and opened the door, waiting.

 

Eventually, Marco slid his chair out and stood, moving his gaze to Mike as he walked past, shaking his head in disapproval. Mike itched all over with guilt but stood his ground and held Marco’s gaze until he was gone, pacing down the hall before disappearing around the corner on his way to the elevators.

 

Harvey let out a long sigh and rubbed his forehead, still holding the door open with his other hand.

 

“Aren’t you going to ask me if it’s true?” Mike asked when Harvey said nothing.

 

“I don’t care,” Harvey said, staring down the hallway.

 

“I don’t buy that.”

 

“You can have it for free.”

 

“I did something wrong,” Mike admitted, fully believing that it was an entirely forgivable and momentary lapse in judgement. He was probably lucky that Harvey didn’t have a lecture on ethics for him, but he should have been disappointed at the very least. “Why don’t you care about that?”

 

“Because I don’t want to,” Harvey bit, giving him a sharp glare before walking out of the room.

 

The door quietly fell closed, leaving Mike alone in the stark conference room. He looked down at his shoes, wondering why he felt like he was in so much trouble when Harvey was so adamantly indifferent.

 

He looked up when suddenly the door swung open again.

 

“Harvey—“

 

“What were you thinking?” He let the door close once more. He must have been really pissed off if he couldn’t walk away from this. “Are you insane? He was our client.”

 

“You said it yourself, he wasn’t our client at the time.”

 

“I don’t care.”

 

“You don’t care about anything,” Mike scoffed. “You care about getting even. Is this _thing_ with him finally done now? Are you even? Or did I screw up the jealousy angle when I did something less than impressive?” It was difficult to keep his voice down but he knew he had to. There were so many people around. He hoped nobody had seen him get shoved.

 

“Obviously, at this point I don’t think there are any winners here,” Harvey admitted. “But it’s definitely finished. It should have been finished before today, but you just had to go and complicate things.”

 

“Complicate...? You’re the one who made this complicated.” Mike tried to keep it cool and professional but it wasn’t easy. “I didn’t know what was going on. If you told me why you were really doing the things you were doing I wouldn’t have been so confused. I wouldn’t have let Josh try to comfort me because I wouldn’t have needed it.”

 

“Comfort.” Harvey didn’t seem to understand the word. “You knew it wasn’t real either way. I _told you_ it wasn’t real. How many times did I need to explain that?”

 

“But it _felt_ —“

 

Mike caught his tongue.

 

Harvey shook his head. “Don’t,” he warned.

 

“I’m not,” Mike breathed. He wouldn’t go that far.

 

Harvey gave him an evaluating stare for a few seconds before pushing the door open and walking out again. This time, Mike followed close behind.

 

Harvey picked up his pace when he realized that Mike was right behind him. “We don’t have anything to talk about right now,” he said over his shoulder.

 

Mike touched the envelope in his pocket. “I know, I just wanted—“

 

“Let it go,” Harvey urged quietly, finally letting Mike catch up to him so he could keep his voice low.

 

“Yeah, I’m _trying_ to—“

 

“But you’d rather blame _my_ taking advantage for _your_ taking advantage.”

 

“But I wasn’t—“ They turned the corner.

 

“Jesus, you think I don’t know I did something wrong? You can stop rubbing my face in my mistake now. I’m _aware_.”

 

“Then stop taking it out on me, and I’ll stop defending myself.” Mike made a fist around the wrinkled envelope in his pocket. If Harvey didn’t want his property back, then so be it. He could feel Donna’s eyes on them but Harvey didn’t seem to care.

 

“Fine,” Harvey agreed tersely, pulling open the door to his office. He held out a finger, stopping Mike before he tried to go into Harvey’s office. “You really need to back off right now. Understand?”

 

Mike watched Harvey disappear into his office and retreat to the safety of his desk. He wasn’t sure if he understood.

 

“He’s not angry with you,” Donna consoled, carefully.

 

“He’s angry that I’m _not_ angry,” Mike speculated aloud.

 

Harvey wouldn’t have done any of it if he thought that Mike would have liked it. That’s what he’d told him. It seemed so sick that it couldn’t be true, but on a deeper level he knew that Harvey really did have Mike’s best interests in mind when he said that.

 

Mike knew it was that text message getting Harvey all wound up. He shouldn’t have sent it. He was glad he did, but he still shouldn’t have. It was true then and it was still true. As low as he knew it made him, he’d take every piece of Harvey he could get, regardless of whether or not the circumstances were genuine. It was an addiction to something he’d never had. He was still upset with Harvey in a way, but the pure, warm goodness he’d felt in the few combined seconds of touches between them still marginally outweighed the hurt when he finally understood that it was only for show.

 

“You’d better go,” said Donna.

 

This didn’t feel finished, but Mike nodded and walked away anyhow, partly out of exhaustion and partly because he knew desperation was not an attractive quality on him. He wasn’t about to play hard to get, though. No games. He was just going to lead by example and be real. He was going to be honest.

 

...Because that had done him a whole lot of good lately.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next update will be SO MUCH faster than this one was. I promise.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm never posting chapter-by-chapter again because my schedule is too unpredictable. Thanks for sticking around and sorry to make you wait! All the comments are very much appreciated. Thanks, littlegirltree, for giving me the confidence to keep posting!

A few traces of early evening sun were still peeking through narrow buildings, casting long, warm shadows across the streets of Manhattan. Mike tried to make a point of arriving at Harvey’s place before dark, even though the man had let him in much, much later in the past. He’d gone there directly from work and really had no idea whether or not Harvey was home, not having the foresight to pre-empt his visit with a call or a text. Harvey left for the day about 45 minutes before Mike had, and being a Monday night it was safe enough to assume he’d gone home.

 

“Mike Ross to see Harvey Specter,” he announced with a graceful _I-belong-here-so-let-me-in_ tone to the concierge in the lobby of Harvey’s building. This guy had to know his face by now.

 

“One moment.” He picked up the phone on the desk and dialed by memory.

 

Mike waited patiently, calming his nerves by reminding himself that he was there for one reason and one reason only – to return the ring. Carrying it around felt too much like collateral.

 

“Mr. Specter, I have a Mike Ross here to see you,” the concierge announced smoothly into the receiver. “Are you expecting him?”

 

Mike rolled his eyes. First of all, he wasn’t _a_ Mike Ross, he was _the_ Mike Ross. And was that question necessary? Harvey was _never_ expecting him and that had never been a problem in the past.

 

“Of course.” The concierge hung up the phone and offered a polite smile. “He’ll be down to meet you shortly.”

 

“Oh...” Mike wasn’t sure why he felt so disappointed. It’s not like he needed to get past Harvey’s door for this exchange. “I just need to give him something. It would probably be easier if I just ran up and saved him the trouble...” He glanced towards the secure elevators.

 

“He’ll be down to meet you shortly,” the concierge repeated, smooth and professional.

 

Mike thanked him and looked around the lobby for something to occupy his mind with until Harvey turned up. He’d never been told to wait before. After a couple of minutes, he slumped down into a white chair and continued to wait, staring at the hall that lead to the elevators.

 

Five minutes later, Harvey made his appearance, greeting the concierge briefly before approaching Mike. He had shed his jacket, tie and vest and looked comfortably wealthy in his slate-blue shirt.

 

Mike stood.

 

“Let’s go,” Harvey said, brushing Mike’s shoulder with his own as he passed him before Mike could speak.

 

“Uh... where?” Mike followed Harvey out the front door. “How come you didn’t let me upstairs?” Maybe that was a stupid question.

 

“We should talk,” Harvey said, casually rolling up his shirtsleeves when his feet hit the sidewalk. “We’re not doing it at work, and we’re _not_ doing it in private.”

 

Mike wanted to challenge him on that, but he knew the man was right. At least, he wanted to believe that Harvey thought it was risky to have Mike in his apartment right now, for all the right reasons. And now that Harvey was taking him out somewhere – a pub, a street corner, it didn’t matter – he’d roll with the hand he was being dealt before bringing up the ring he’d come to return. What did Harvey think he was there for, anyway?

 

Harvey took Mike to a cozy, shabby-chic bar a couple of blocks from his place. The drinks appeared to be reasonably priced, according to the elegant scrawl on the chalkboards. On the cusp of a few different neighbourhoods, the Monday night crowd was an eclectic mix of personalities – tourists, alcoholics, hippies, yuppies – and he felt right at home. It was obvious that Harvey had chosen this spot for Mike’s comfort.

 

They sat at the bar so that they wouldn’t have to face each other, exchanging very few words as the bartender served them each a straight-up vintage scotch of Harvey’s choosing that Mike would never have pronounced correctly.

 

“What are we drinking to?” Mike picked up his glass, trying to get some indication of why Harvey brought him here. It wasn’t because he wanted to fool around, otherwise Mike would already be in his apartment.

 

“Nothing,” Harvey said, picking up his glass. “You came to see me. Go ahead, tell me why.”

 

Mike nodded and reluctantly placed the folded white envelope containing the ring onto the bar between them. “I just wanted to give this back to you.”

 

Harvey looked down at it for a few seconds before nodding. “Thanks.” He finished his drink quickly and stood up.

 

“Hey, are you leaving?” Mike stood with him, leaving his drink untouched.

 

“This won’t work,” Harvey explained, putting the envelope in his pocket.

 

“What? Don’t leave now, you’re making me look like a drug dealer,” Mike joked pathetically. “Didn’t you say we needed to talk?”

 

“I was hoping we could, but...” Harvey searched for the words, gesturing to the space between them. “This is weird now. We can’t just talk. You know that. I should have known better.”

 

“No, we’re good. We are.” Mike began to panic a little. Was Harvey giving up on them? Yes, things were a little weird, but it wasn’t like they’d had sex or anything. It was only a profound emotional betrayal, nothing more. “We were stupid, but we’re sorry, so –“

 

Harvey shook his head. “I don’t think I’m really sorry. That’s the thing.”

 

Mike’s lungs felt like dead weight in his chest. He was unable to suck in enough air to spit out a response. Whatever Harvey meant, he knew it was true and that’s what he wanted.

 

“And...” Harvey chuckled, one eyebrow shooting up in response to his own thought process. “I’m sorry that I’m not sorry,” he confessed with a shrug. “But that’s not good enough, is it?”

 

“I don’t understand...” Mike admitted, slowly sitting back down on the bar stool behind him. Was he supposed to be angry or relieved?

 

Harvey braced a hand against the bar and licked his lips. It took him a few seconds to push the words out. “I don’t think I can give you a sincere apology if I still want you. Can I?” His voice was almost a whisper by the end. His eyes were soft and honest. Mike wanted to lean in and kiss him right then but it would have been wrong, and not the good kind of wrong. Harvey wasn’t trying to seduce Mike (he didn’t have to try). He was only confiding.

 

Mike swallowed. He didn’t have an answer. Did it have to be one or the other? Fuck, Harvey was confessing that he _wanted_ him. No more guessing. It was true.

 

“I’m not pleased with myself for keeping you in the dark, but I still enjoyed it. All of it. You. Given the chance I would do things differently... but I would still do it again.”

 

Mike had to look away, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t do anything.

 

“So what does that make me?”

 

“Bisexual?”

 

“I’m really asking.” Harvey didn’t seem amused, or offended either. “What does it make me? Not sorry. As much as I want to be.”

 

“I... I think you’re getting hung up on words,” Mike stammered. He could hardly breathe. This wasn’t the conversation he was expecting.

 

Harvey stood there, staring down at him with inquisitive eyes, waiting for something.

 

Mike couldn’t answer the question, so he blurted out the first thing that came into his mind: “Did you hook up with Marco on Saturday while I was waiting for you at the party?” Anything to keep him there, talking.

 

Harvey finally sat back down on the stool next to Mike, examining his expression. “You think I’d do that?”

 

“I’m not judging. Just asking.”

They were facing each other now. It was all they could do since they’d run out of topics to avoid.

 

“No,” said Harvey.

 

Mike exhaled in relief but he tried not to let it show. He knew it was uncalled for to feel possessive of Harvey, but he couldn’t help it.

 

“When he asked me to meet him before the party, that’s what he expected to happen, apparently. When I explained that I was in a happy, committed relationship – thank you very much--”

 

Mike took a little bow.

 

“He gave me a piece of his mind and I told him I was going home, alone. I didn’t see your messages on my phone because he and I were fighting, not fucking.” Harvey sighed. “He didn’t expect to see me at the party but I didn’t want to leave you there by yourself. I didn’t expect to see him either.”

 

“You rejected him, and then you kissed me in front of him?” Somehow this time he could say it without stumbling over his words. “You’re a mean person.”

 

“He started it,” Harvey mumbled. He looked into his empty glass, then pushed it away.

 

Mike felt the corner of his mouth curl into a half-smirk. Harvey’s self-deprecating comment acknowledged how childish he knew his actions had been.

 

“You’re not drinking your drink,” Harvey observed.

 

Mike picked up his glass, but Harvey took it.

 

“Sub-par. Don’t bother.”

 

“You ordered it.”

 

“I’m doing the best with what we have to work with here.”

 

“You picked the bar.” Mike laughed.

 

“It’s in the neighbourhood. Kind of.” Harvey took a sip from Mike’s glass, then pushed it back to him. “Go ahead,” he said. “Try it.”

 

Mike picked up the glass and touched his lips to the same place Harvey’s had been, finishing the drink. He made a slightly exaggerated effort at demonstrating his analysis of the flavour. “Mm. My standards must be just low enough,” he decided, putting the glass down. Sharing a glass was probably the most intimacy he’d get that night, and he enjoyed it accordingly. He licked his lips and caught Harvey glancing at his mouth.

 

“Excuse me.”

 

They both turned out from the bar to acknowledge the female voice ringing out behind them. A tall, skinny woman with a blunt yellow bob, very obviously braless beneath a blue dress swayed in her shiny white pumps. The lazy smile on her face and watery eyes told Mike she was probably on something. Harvey smiled at her. Mike didn’t.

 

“Um, I just overheard you say that you live in the neighbourhood?”

 

Harvey nodded. “Are we neighbours?”

 

She laughed, pushing her hair behind her ear. “No. My friend and I were just wondering if you know a good place to eat around here. Something open late?”

 

“Late, it’s only 9:30,” Harvey pointed out. “You’re not from around here, are you?”

 

Mike rolled his eyes as Harvey began making a few knowledgeable recommendations for fine dining nearby. He made her laugh, she touched his arm, and Mike had to look away. Harvey did not belong to him.

 

He saw the other young woman – the friend – sitting at a table a few feet away, chewing gum, engrossed in her bedazzled cell phone, texting at lightning speed with her long fingernails. Black hair, high cheek bones, pink bow lips. Both women were extremely beautiful in an alien sort of way. And since they were both well-dressed and likely had access to drugs in New York, it meant they were probably wealthy. And of course Harvey was the one who caught their attention. The jealousy creeping in was probably unwarranted and completely backwards.

 

“You’re welcome to join us, of course,” said the blonde. “We don’t have to be anywhere until noon tomorrow.”

 

Mike tried not to groan or vomit.

 

“That’s very kind,” Harvey said sweetly, shooting Mike a quick glance. “But—“

 

“We have to go home and feed the dog,” Mike cut in.

 

The girl looked at him as if it was the first time she noticed him sitting there, even though he was practically attached to Harvey’s body. Harvey looked at him too, but didn’t interrupt.

 

“And it’s my turn to cook dinner tonight,” Mike added. “We should probably tuck in early, too, I’m exhausted. How about you, babe?” He glanced over at Harvey, almost wincing at his own stupid lies, but he couldn’t help it.

 

 _You started it_ , he said with his eyes.

 

Harvey squinted, processing, then looked back at the blonde with a curt nod.

 

“You cook dinner for your dog?” The girl tipped her head to the side, trying to work it all out.

 

“Leave them alone, they’re fags,” mumbled the friend without looking up. A couple others did though, at the utterance of the F-word, but Mike didn’t care. She finally put her phone in her purse, got up, and waved her friend over. “Come on, I’m hungry.”

 

The blonde girl thanked them awkwardly in disappointment and followed her friend out the front door.

 

“Well that was unnecessary,” Harvey remarked.

 

“Me or her?”

 

“I didn’t need an exit strategy, but thanks anyway.”

 

“You’re welcome,” Mike replied smugly. “Do strange women approach you in bars with stupid questions often?”

 

“Jealous?” Harvey lifted an eyebrow.

 

“Wait, isn’t it _my_ job to make people jealous?”  


“You do, you know.”

 

“Harvey, I highly doubt that I’ve ever made anyone jealous.” Whether or not it was true, the idea tickled him.

 

“Work people,” Harvey stated vaguely.

 

Mike laughed. “Nobody’s jealous of me at work.”

 

“You and me,” Harvey clarified. “The real you and me.”

 

“You and me.” Mike had to sound that out to make sure he’d heard correctly. “Who’s jealous of us?”

 

“Guess.”

 

Mike tried, too flattered that someone envied their professional relationship enough to convey jealousy in a way that Harvey would have picked up on. The only other person at the firm who currently seemed interested in working with Harvey was Donna, and she already worked for him.

 

“Oh,” Mike realized. “Really?”

 

Harvey nodded.

 

“But Donna has no reason to be jealous,” Mike said. He couldn’t imagine her being jealous of anyone. Although she’d been acting a little odd lately.

 

“She’s not used to being the second closest person to me,” Harvey explained. There was just enough softness in his voice for Mike to understand that Harvey was trying to tell him more than he was saying.

 

“Oh...” Mike had a hard time believing it. If Harvey really felt closer to Mike than to Donna it was not only surprising but also kind of sad, because in some ways they were unusually close but in many ways they were strangers. And _why_ was he telling him this now? After all that he’d withheld and lied about, it couldn’t be true. Mike hadn’t even had a clue that Harvey was anything other than heterosexual up until a month ago. Although now that he thought about it, he’d never exactly tried to hide the fact.

 

The moment to either look away or say something came and went but they held each other’s gaze comfortably and quietly, becoming more aware of the moment expanding in time. Mike could see Harvey thinking, tapping the rim of his empty glass with his finger.

 

The bartender approached but Harvey shook his head and put up a hand. Mike knew they couldn’t sit there all night and not drink, but drinking was a bad idea and Harvey’s place was apparently off-limits. Still, Harvey paid for the two drinks and stood. So that was that.

 

“I bet you know where to get the best scotch in the city,” Mike said quickly, unwilling to part ways so soon. He stood up next to Harvey.

 

“Of course I do.”

 

“Something nearby?” Mike tried not to look too optimistic. “Open late?” He hoped the half-hearted impression of the party girl would help to alleviate the mood and cloak the desperation in his voice.

 

Harvey said nothing at first, so Mike resorted to mind control: _Take me home. Take me home. Take me home._ Never hurt to try.

“I might,” Harvey said.

Mike could work with that for now. He followed Harvey out the front door, filling his lungs with cool air. The sun was gone but heat still radiated from the pavement.

 

“I happen have ’56 vintage at home,” Harvey said at last when he realized that he and Mike were both walking in the same direction.

 

“That sounds good,” Mike breathed. Harvey hadn’t invited him over, but he hadn’t said goodbye yet, either, so he stayed by his side.

 

They said nothing else on the short walk to Harvey’s building. Harvey’s pace was slower than it had been earlier which was agonizing for Mike, who felt like a loaded slingshot, ready to go. The back of Mike’s hand bumped Harvey’s and shot a spark of intense need through his arm to his chest. He sucked his lip into his mouth and bit down hard, clenching his hand into a fist, wondering if Harvey felt it, too.

 

Outside the front doors of the building, Harvey slowed and turned to face Mike.

 

“Wanna come up?”

 

Mike nodded. Of course he did. Had they not already established that?

 

Harvey put his hand on the door but didn’t open it. He stared in to the vacant lobby for a few seconds, then sighed and let go, shaking his head.

 

Mike was ready for this. “I have an idea. Why don’t I do the speech about why we shouldn’t get involved because we work together, and that way you won’t have to.”

 

“Working together isn’t the reason why this is a terrible idea,” Harvey said.

 

Mike blinked at Harvey’s use of the word _this_. He was acknowledging that something was happening between them, then and there, as opposed to something that had come and gone.

 

“Anyway, that’s not what I was going to say,” Harvey continued. “Come up. If you want to try some of the best scotch in the city, come up because that’s what you want.” He let go of the door and stepped in closer to Mike. “But if that’s not why, then don’t dick around. No more games, no more excuses. I think we’re past that.”

 

“I think so, too,” Mike agreed. “I hope so,” he amended, honestly. Mike couldn’t deny the slightest suspicion in the back of his mind, as much as he wanted to ignore it. Harvey was very convincing and Mike was easily seduced. If there were ulterior motives here, Mike knew that he could easily miss or overlook them.

 

“Trust me.” Harvey took another step in and brushed his knuckles against Mike’s neck. It sent a hot shiver down his spine. This was just a touch, and that’s why it felt so incredible. Just because Harvey wanted to touch him, and Mike wanted to be touched. No audience. No strategy. Just them. _The real us_ , as Harvey put it. But something was holding him back. Mike put his hand over Harvey’s and opened it against his neck, holding it there, warm and sturdy.

 

Harvey’s thumb moved to his cheek. Mike turned his head and parted his lips, feeling the thumb move between them. He kissed it gently, trying not to suck and bite like his instincts were telling him to.

 

Harvey’s eyes were dark. His breath shook for a moment, but only briefly. “I’m taking advantage,” he said, running his thumb across Mike’s wet lower lip.

“No, you’re not.” Mike kept one hand pressed down over Harvey’s and brought the other to his chest. He still wasn’t over that naked feeling of the man’s body without all the usual layers. His heart thud with an urgency beneath Mike’s hand that made him want to reach in and wrap his fingers around it. He wanted Harvey to _feel_ how close to his heart he was, not just know it. “Unless you want to,” he whispered, grazing Harvey’s thumb with his teeth.

 

Mike expected to feel Harvey pull away, but he didn’t. “You shouldn’t say things like that.” Harvey moved his thumb away, but only to replace it with his lips.

 

Mike squeezed his eyes shut and completely disappeared into the soft, warm mouth against his. Every muscle in his body seemed to weaken and tighten at once, throbbing all over, overwhelmed, satisfied, starving for more. It felt so much deeper and better this time, not having to wonder why it was happening. They wanted each other. That was the only reason, and it felt so pure.

 

Mike was lightheaded in seconds, pulling away, his hot breath mingling with Harvey’s only momentarily before he needed more, brushing his moist lips against Harvey’s and sinking his tongue into his mouth, tasting him. Harvey moaned when Mike sucked his tongue and it made him shiver.

 

When Mike caught himself instinctively fingering the buttons on Harvey’s shirt, he knew they needed to move this inside. Slowing down felt impossible. He broke the kiss, but didn’t let go of him. That’s when he realized how tight he’d been holding on.

 

“Is this real?” Mike looked into Harvey’s soft, warm eyes and already knew the answer.

 

“Yes,” Harvey responded without having to think about it. He kissed Mike’s cheek and moved his fingertips through his hair. “Do you want to come up?” he asked again.

 

“Yeah, but not for scotch.”

 

“Good,” Harvey breathed, gently dislodging himself from Mike’s arms. He opened the door and let Mike go in ahead of him.

 

“So it’s okay for us to be in private now?” Mike wondered what, exactly, had changed Harvey’s mind.

 

Mike tried to keep his hands to himself as they crossed the pristine lobby. The concierge remotely unlocked the door to the elevators for them. Mike tried to make eye contact with the man, hoping he’d clocked what happened outside the front doors so that he wouldn’t make him jump through hoops the next time he wanted to see Harvey. But the asshole behind the desk was so damn polite he’d probably just been busy minding his own business and missed the whole thing. It was refreshing though, not having anyone to show off to.

 

“I didn’t want to _talk_ in private,” Harvey specified when they arrived at the elevators. He hit the call button.

 

“So what—“

 

The elevator chimed and Harvey took his arm.

 

“I’ll explain later, just get in the car,” Harvey said, quoting every action movie ever made. He deposited Mike against the wall of the elevator, then released him in order to swipe his key card in a box on the other side, which is where he settled for the ride up.

 

Mike had made the awkward trip up to someone’s apartment for a hook-up before, but this felt so completely different. Usually there were fluorescent lights, exposing features that hadn’t been made entirely clear under black light, and there were uneasy, doubtful stares trying to pass as some kind of sultry glances learned from bad movies. This was nothing like that, and not just because the lighting in this elevator was flattering. He knew Harvey. They didn’t have to avoid each other’s eyes or throw themselves at each other as a form of distraction. They simply leaned against opposite sides of the elevator and looked at each other. Mike knew what Harvey looked like but he usually couldn’t get away with _enjoying_ the way he looked when they were working. Mike let his eyes linger on where his shirt hugged his chest and biceps, just a little. He looked at the neck he wanted to kiss, the hair he wanted to touch, the lips that could be so stern but feel so sweet, the hands he wanted to feel on his naked skin. He hadn’t liked the way Harvey’s hand looked with a ring on it before, but now it looked oddly bare without.

 

Then his eyes landed on Harvey’s and there was that vaguely familiar look of play and curiosity there that had been fading so much over the past few months with new stresses in life and work. This was the Harvey who Mike had quickly begun to care for very early in their working relationship. This was the Harvey who had Michael Jordan in his phone and who stole Mike’s coffee every morning and who had a fanboy crush on Batman. And then Harvey must have seen how much Mike was enjoying what he saw – the Harvey who really enjoyed life – because a suspicious and amused smile crept across his face.

 

“Is something funny?” Harvey asked.

 

“Not funny,” said Mike. “You just look really good when you get what you want. Entitlement suits you.”

 

“I know.”

 

Harvey took two short steps towards Mike and reached out carefully, like he wasn’t entirely convinced he was allowed. He ran his fingers down the length of Mike’s tie, and it was all Mike could do to be still and quiet as Harvey slowly, confidently loosened the knot and slid it over his head.

 

The elevator chimed and the doors slid open. Harvey eyed him apprehensively before stepping out into the hall. The tie looked good hanging from his hand. Mike followed, his limbs tingling in anticipation of mingling with Harvey’s. He couldn’t imagine another way for this night to end.

 

He tried not to think about the word _end_.

 

“I happen to be aware that just because I want something, that doesn’t make me entitled to it,” Harvey pointed out. His shoulder pressed against Mike’s as they walked down the hallway.

 

“Uh-huh.” Mike heard him and understood him, but he was totally preoccupied with the small bump of their shoulders.  

 

When Harvey stopped at his door to unlock it, Mike took the opportunity to press his nose behind the man’s ear and kiss that tender spot on his neck. The scent of shampoo that Mike could sometimes detect in the mornings -- when Harvey occasionally leaned in to speak quietly to him on their way into a meeting, or when he brushed past him in a doorway – was still faintly detectable, and fresh cologne hung beautifully on his collar. He must have put it on when the concierge had called him. Mike’s lips lingered there against Harvey’s skin, tasting him and breathing him.

 

“I like it when you get what you want,” Mike said quietly, testing the waters. “Whatever you need.”

 

Harvey said nothing. After a moment of stillness, he opened the door and pulled Mike inside by the wrist.

 

The apartment was dark and quiet. A lamp was on somewhere – Mike could see its tiny reflection mingling with the dull illumination of city lights outside the expansive window. Harvey let go of Mike to lock the door, then turned to face him, and it immediately struck Mike as probably the most private moment they’d ever shared.

 

“Don’t talk like I own you,” Harvey told him with a nearly ironic demand in his tone. “That’s not what this is.”

 

“But you want to, right?” Mike’s heart was racing. He didn’t know if it was out of nervousness or excitement. Harvey practically bought him the day they met. He had put a ring on his finger when he didn’t have to. He had fixated on Mike’s text message when he could have written it off as a drunken half-thought and forgotten about it. Mike knew he was right, and he knew it was possible to belong to Harvey without his trust being abused.

 

“So is this a thing for you?” Harvey asked, stepping up close, moving his arm around Mike’s waist, dropping the tie to the floor.

 

“Is that a problem?” Mike could barely speak. It took a lot of strength just to breathe with Harvey’s chest pushing up against his as he walked him slowly backwards down the hall.

 

“I’m not sure,” said Harvey. “Either you really want this, or I’m using you.”

 

“I really want this,” Mike insisted. “And I wanna do whatever you want me to. I like that.” Mike tried to look into Harvey’s eyes in the dark but it was difficult to read them. He wanted to be good for Harvey, to please him, to have something that belonged only to them... everything that mattered in every other aspect of their relationship, it mattered then and there. He slid his hand between them to deal with the buttons on the other man’s shirt, but Harvey caught his wrists.

 

“There’s so much I want to–“ Harvey confessed, breathlessly, before cutting himself off. He didn’t release Mike’s wrists.

 

“Do it,” Mike urged softly, trying to control the excitement the man’s words were stirring up in him. “Harvey. I know I wouldn’t be here right now if you didn’t... feel things. Real things. I know that.” Mike’s lips moved against Harvey’s as he spoke quietly. “You don’t have to convince me. I know.” It was true that something in him knew how deep this all ran for Harvey, even if he couldn’t entirely believe or understand it yet.

 

Harvey pressed his lips to Mike’s and let go of his wrists to wrap an arm around his waist again and cup the back of his head, holding him close and tight.

 

“I want you.” His voice was deep, warm honey on Mike’s lips.

 

Even though Harvey had made that pretty clear by now and it was the second time that night he was telling him, the sound of his voice saying those words was so overwhelming that Mike couldn’t even respond. He only nodded and captured Harvey’s mouth with his own again. He reached between them for the buttons of Harvey’s shirt but his fingers were too curious and eager to resist dropping lower, cupping Harvey between the legs with one hand and unbuckling his belt with the other. At the feeling of the other man swelling in response to his touch and the vibration of a moan against his tongue, Mike dropped to his knees as he flipped open Harvey’s belt buckle. It was all instinct now. He was wanting faster than he could think.

 

Before he could unzip him, Mike found himself face to face with Harvey on their knees on the floor of the dark apartment. There were lips on his, kissing hard, pushing into him until he fell back against the floor and felt the other man’s knees settle between his. Mike clenched his fists against Harvey’s back, twisting and tugging his shirt, dragging him closer but needing more than he was giving. He wanted as much, as hard, as fast as possible.

 

Mike balled his fists in Harvey’s shirt and pulled, coaxing the man away just enough to get the leverage to push him over onto his back. He didn’t have it in him to let Harvey take this slowly, because he could feel that it’s not what either of them wanted. Mike straddled him, kissing and licking his neck, feeling the muscles in his throat contract as he sighed and swallowed hard. The buttons on his shirt slipped open easily, one by one, all the way down. The t-shirt underneath had to go, but Mike was too impatient. He pushed the fabric up and spread his fingers out across Harvey’s firm stomach, sliding them up his chest which rose and fell with deep, hot breaths. Harvey was so real and solid, leaning back on his elbows underneath Mike’s eager touches and kisses, sighing and now even moaning softly, low down in his throat, his hips rocking up slowly but confidently. But he would only match Mike’s advances – not exceed them. Something about that was just as exciting as it was frustrating.

 

There was a hand on Mike’s shoulder, coaxing him back, and he thought he was being pushed away at first but when he sat up in Harvey’s lap, Harvey sat up with him only so that he could finish the job Mike started. He quickly stripped from the waist up before wrapping his arms tight around Mike’s body, pulling him close. Harvey left wet kisses along his neck and jaw while untucking Mike’s shirt from his pants. The feeling of his warm hands sliding up against his naked back underneath his clothes knocked all the wind out of him. The floor was too hard under his knees but he didn’t care. He couldn’t stop, not even for a second.

 

Mike moved his hands back to Harvey’s slackened belt and lower, finally unzipping his pants.

 

“Fuck me,” Harvey demanded in a sharp, sly whisper against Mike’s mouth.

 

Mike got so hard so fast his head spun. Once again, rendered wordless, he nodded and touched his forehead to Harvey’s. He was almost paralyzed with need. He needed them both naked, but stripping off the rest of their clothes would mean putting a few inches of distance between them for a few seconds. But it was necessary.

 

“Can I see your bedroom?” Mike was embarrassed by how much his voice wavered at the question.

 

Harvey nodded and pushed Mike off his lap. He picked up his clothes before climbing onto his feet with Mike, only to drop them again when they fell into another kiss. He smiled against Mike’s mouth, who smiled back at their inability and unwillingness to do anything but touch each other.

 

Mike closed his eyes and melted into the other man’s body, letting Harvey lead him across the apartment with no concern about tripping on any furniture along the way. Their thighs moved parallel, feet stepping together in a way that was not entirely clumsy. He pushed his hands down the back of Harvey’s pants and underwear, squeezing the flesh of his smooth ass, pulling him close and tight. Harvey groaned into his mouth, but broke away when Mike tried to push his pants down over his hips.

 

“Wait.” Harvey’s voice was low and breathy against Mike’s cheek. “Do something for me?”

 

“Anything.” Mike blinked his eyes open and realized they’d made the short journey to the dark bedroom.

 

“Believe me, I know that I shouldn’t be asking this...”

 

That only turned Mike on more. “We’re past _shouldn’t_. Whatever you want, I’ll do it.” There was a very short but unwavering list of things that Mike had always known he was unwilling to do, and none of them had ever come up anyway. But with Harvey’s hot breath on his lips and adoring hands on his body, Mike couldn’t think of a single thing he’d deny him if he asked.

 

Mike pulled Harvey’s belt from his pants and dropped it to the floor. He was dying to slip his hand into the open zipper of his pants and feel how hard the other man was, how big he was, what kind of underwear he was wearing, but Harvey shifted, nudging one of Mike’s hands out of the way as he reached into his pocket. When he pulled out the white envelope, he didn’t need to ask. Mike knew what the man wanted. Admittedly it was a pretty fucked up request, even unspoken, but Harvey wanted it. Mike wanted it, too, but mostly because of Harvey’s apprehension and guilt about asking. That’s what really turned him on, because it gave away how bad he wanted it and how vulnerable he’d made himself.

 

“Just say no and I’ll forget I asked.” Even though Harvey hadn’t actually asked out loud.

 

Mike looked Harvey in the eye and snatched the envelope. He tore it open and slid the ring onto his pinky finger. It was the wrong finger but he needed to free up his hands as quickly as possible and didn’t want to waste time wrestling the small band past his knuckle. Maybe this took them one step away from reality again, but maybe that was the best they could do.

 

Harvey exhaled.

 

With no time wasted, Mike dropped the paper to the floor and pushed Harvey’s pants and underwear down over his hips. As Harvey toed off his shoes and slipped his pants off his ankles, Mike shrugged off his shirt and pulled is undershirt over his head. Before he could even process how completely fucking _naked_ Harvey was in front of him, the man sat down on the edge of the bed, grabbed hold of Mike’s pant pockets and roughly tugged him up close. He watched his own hand reach out to stroke Harvey’s cheek and hair, watched Harvey undo his pants, watched the remainder of his clothes slip down past his hips and knees and land on the floor.

 

Harvey kissed Mike’s stomach, tracing his lips and tongue lower and lower. His cheek bumped the head of Mike’s cock and a breathy whimper escaped Mike’s lips.

 

Harvey glanced up only for a moment, concealing his grin against Mike’s body, pressing long, slow kisses to his stomach, waist, and hip bone. Mike touched his hair, tracing the rim of his ear with his fingertips, then settled his hand on Harvey’s neck as his lips and tongue and the tip of his nose nudged closer to his pelvic bone. Harvey’s hands were needy but gentle, exploring his thighs, his ass, his back, holding him close. Mike’s knees were weak with lust and Harvey’s hands and naked thighs on either side of his legs were the only reasons he was still standing upright.

 

Harvey’s hot, wet tongue darted out to tease the base of Mike’s cock.

 

Mike sucked in a hiss of breath through his teeth and nose. “Careful,” he begged, digging his fingertips deeper into Harvey’s neck. If Harvey didn’t take this slowly he wasn’t going to get what he asked for.

 

Harvey didn’t seem concerned. With one hand steady at the small of his back, the other held his cock while he licked his way up from base to tip, generous with the saliva that he then spread around with his hand as he slowly began stroking him. He dipped the tip of his tongue into the wet slit at the head of Mike’s cock before kissing it and taking him into his warm, eager mouth.

 

Mike’s jaw dropped and his eyes squeezed shut involuntarily. He held Harvey’s head with both hands while a stream of moans and sighs dripped helplessly from his lips, barely able to bring himself to look down and watch the hand and mouth working him slowly and intently. His gaze trailed along Harvey’s smooth, toned shoulders and back. Just seeing him out of his clothes was a lot to process, let alone feeling the inside of his hot, smooth mouth, delivering just the right speed, the right suction, the right combination of lips and tongue, quickly driving him out of his mind and making him weak all over. Mike hadn’t received much head recently, but he’d had enough of it to know the difference between someone who was new to this and someone who wasn’t. Harvey was not remotely new to this.

 

“You’re so good,” Mike breathed, almost reluctantly, because he was pretty certain Harvey knew how good he was. He moved one hand to Harvey’s jaw while the other stroked his hair, not pulling him closer or changing his pace, but letting him know he was perfect.

 

Harvey moaned in response, the vibrations rattling down deep into Mike’s core. The hand at the small of his back pressed, easing him in closer as the fist at the base of his cock tightened, and Mike was just about to have to push him away before Harvey slid his wet lips off to catch a few steady breaths, even as he continued to kiss and taste him.

 

When Harvey licked his lips, Mike knew he had to do the same. He tipped Harvey’s chin up and leaned down to lick the moisture from his lips. Harvey’s tongue slipped out to meet his, drawing him into a deep kiss.

 

Tasting himself in Harvey’s mouth stripped Mike’s very last shreds of his self-control. He nudged Harvey’s thigh up and open with his knee as he stepped out of his pants and shoes and crawled onto the bed between Harvey’s legs, pushing the man onto his back, crushing their hips together, feeling Harvey’s stiff cock press against his before he’d even touched him with his hand. He’d never craved to be this close to anyone before, needing so badly to be chest-to-chest, wrapped up so tight in each other’s arms and legs that he couldn’t even bring himself to sit back to admire the view. Harvey’s hands found his ass, squeezing tight, pulling him down hard, pushing up against him and opening his legs. He was begging to be fucked. As much as Mike wanted to take the opportunity to experience more of him for longer, to tease him and torture him, his unbearable need to get as close as physically possible _right now_ was winning out.

 

“Do you...?”

 

“Yeah.” Harvey half rolled over onto his side before Mike could articulate his question, stretching out to reach into the drawer of his night table. He got what he needed, but didn’t hand it over to Mike. He must have been just impatient. Harvey tore open the condom and reached down between them, his breath hot and sweet on Mike’s lips as he rolled the latex down onto him.

 

“Just like this,” Harvey insisted, his voice deep and rich, as he slid his hands around the back of Mike’s thighs.

 

Mike nodded. For some reason the performance anxiety that he sort of expected to kick in when fucking his boss for the first time never came. It all felt so strangely normal, and still so exciting at the same time. It was new, but inevitable, like it was something they’d agreed on a long time ago. This was them. Just them.

 

Mike grabbed the bottle of lube that Harvey had dropped onto the mattress next to them and pried himself away to sit back on his knees, squeezing some of the thick gel into his hand. Looking down at Harvey, propped onto his elbows, knees spread wide apart, his thick, heavy cock leaking precome onto his firm belly, fingers balled up in his bedspread in anticipation... it made him stop for a second. He had never seen Harvey so literally or figuratively open before.

 

Mike blinked when he caught Harvey looking at him in just the same way. He spread the lube onto both his hands and deliberately chose to stroke Harvey’s cock with his left. While clumsier, that way he knew Harvey could feel the ring sliding along his flesh. Maybe that’s not what he was looking for, but it couldn’t hurt. With his other hand, he reached down to massage Harvey’s balls for a minute before reaching lower, rubbing the tip of two fingers against his tight hole until he got the moan that told him to press inside.

 

Harvey groaned hard, loud, biting his lip and clenching around Mike’s fingers, throbbing in his left hand. The bliss on Harvey’s face was so fucking hot that it hurt to look at him, but Mike couldn’t take his eyes away. He watched the man’s head fall back, all the muscles in his body seeming to slacken just a little as Mike twisted his fingers slowly, reaching deeper inside, rubbing him gently with his fingertips as he stroked with his other hand. He registered a few soft, broken words of approval spoken to the ceiling and loved that Harvey had never been so inarticulate in his presence before. He looked and felt so good that Mike wanted to make him come just like that, with even and meticulous strokes. He couldn’t deny feeling powerful in this position. That’s probably why Harvey wanted him there.

 

After only one hazy minute that felt like a lot longer, Harvey reached down and grabbed Mike’s wrist, easing his fingers out. The hand at his wrist moved to his thigh with an insistent grip, urging Mike closer.

 

Mike took the cue and pulled one of Harvey’s ankles over his shoulder. He was still wearing his socks, so Mike very deliberately removed one, and then the other. Then reached back to peel off his own.

 

“You’re killing me,” muttered Harvey, shaking his head. “Maybe I like it with socks on.”

 

Mike answered by turning his head and licking the smooth, pale sole of Harvey’s pedicured foot. It had never occurred to him to do that before, but it seemed to work.

 

“Fuck.” Harvey closed his eyes, his head falling back once more.

 

Mike pressed his hands to Harvey’s shoulders until the man’s elbows gave out and he flattened his back against the mattress. Mike leaned down with him, coaxing his hips up higher with one of Harvey’s legs remaining over his shoulder and the other wrapped around his waist. His brain was foggy and he was tingling all over with the electric anticipation of sinking himself inside the other man’s needy body. As much as he hated admitting these kinds of things, it was much more than physical. He was pretty certain that Harvey was just as much a bottom as Mike was a top. This was atypical for both of them, but Harvey’s decision to let Mike take the wheel was all about trust, both trusting and being trusted. Maybe it was the kind of power shift that Harvey needed to help soothe his conscience, and while it wasn’t necessary – they both knew they were on level ground – it still felt really good.

 

Mike tried not to worry about leaving a messy handprint on Harvey’s sheets as he balanced with one hand, positioning himself between Harvey’s legs with the other. Harvey’s encouraging fingers dug deep into the flesh of his buttocks. Maybe it would be a lot of fun to tease him, but this wasn’t the time. Mike couldn’t bear to look him in the eyes for this, so he hid his face against the Harvey’s shoulder, pushing carefully until he felt that tight, perfect heat swallow him up all the way to the base.

 

Mike didn’t mean to bite down so hard on Harvey’s shoulder, but the deep, satisfied groans that rang out of them both simultaneously confirmed that he hadn’t hurt him. He replaced his teeth with his lips and kissed his way from Harvey’s shoulder to his neck.

 

“God, Mike... you don’t know how bad I need this.” Harvey’s words were barely a whisper. While his voice was soft, his hands were strong and insistent.

 

“Me too.”

 

Every time Mike pulled back, just a little, Harvey dragged him back in, massaging his ass, squeezing so hard that Mike wondered if he might leave bruises, which was an undeniable turn-on. He loved Harvey’s strength and enthusiasm. He could feel the honesty in his confession that he’s _needed_ it. Harvey was opening up to him in every way possible, but he wanted him to let go completely. He’d given Mike this opportunity to take control, and Mike wanted to accept it. So without thinking too much, he wiped away some residual lube from his fingers onto the bed sheets, then covered Harvey’s eyes with his hand. He saw the ring on his finger when he looked down at it but he wasn’t certain if it had really done anything for Harvey, who hadn’t seemed to acknowledge it since he put it on.

 

“Can you feel me?” Mike wanted Harvey blind. Of course Harvey could feel him, but he wanted him to _only_ feel, and nothing else.

 

“I feel you.”

 

Soon Harvey did relax, parting his lips to release a helpless sigh before Mike covered his mouth with his own. He kissed him deep and sincere while he fucked him just the same way. The hands that had been confidently guiding Mike’s hips eased up and moved around his back instead, just holding him instead of leading him. And from there on, it was easy to settle into a rhythm that suited them both. Doing his best to balance on his knees and one elbow with his right hand pushed down between them to stroke the Harvey’s swollen cock, Mike kept his left hand across the other man’s eyes the whole time so that neither of them could see each other’s’ tears of absolutely pure, raw pleasure.

 

Mike heard Harvey’s breath catch as he stiffened up and clenched his jaw, his arms tightening around Mike’s back. He could have held off, but he wanted to feel Harvey come more than he wanted to delay it. The temptation was irresistible. Mike slowed his thrusts and quickened his hand, desperately trying to hold back his own climax until Harvey had his. He kissed Harvey’s neck, feeling his pulse quicken against his lips. His cologne smelled so fucking good. If he ever detected it on Harvey’s collar at work again he’d be completely screwed.

 

“ _Fuck_ , you’re so--” Harvey clenched his jaw, his throat tight. “I can’t –“

 

“So don’t.” Mike nosed Harvey’s hair. “Do you ever think about me when you get off?” He tugged Harvey’s earlobe with his teeth, then turned his lips back to his neck with long, slow, wet kisses.

 

Harvey groaned but didn’t respond. He peeled Mike’s hand away from his eyes, and Mike let him. Their fingers laced together instinctively as Mike pressed Harvey’s hand down into the mattress, watching him blink open his damp, heavy-lidded eyes.

 

“I’m always thinking about you,” Harvey answered finally, his fingers tightening around Mike’s.

 

Mike probably couldn’t have hidden the effect those words had on him if he tried, so he didn’t try. This was the only person who made him feel just as weak as he did strong.

 

Harvey lifted his forehead to Mike’s, looking down between their bodies, watching their hips knock together, watching Mike stroke him. His cock twitched in Mike’s hand and his arm tightened around his back. Finally, he squeezed his eyes shut with a deep groan. His head fell back, his toes curled against the air, the muscles around Mike’s cock tightened and throbbed, coaxing him deeper as he felt Harvey’s come spill out over his fingers.

 

“Keep going,” Harvey begged breathlessly, still on the last waves of his orgasm. “Keep going. Keep going...”

 

Mike pounded into him, knowing he should be more careful and patient or stop altogether but Harvey was just so fucking vulnerable... this naked, human body pulsing and breathing and moaning beneath him without a shred of the restraint that he was so familiar with. He wanted to take advantage of it. He wanted to empty the man out and tear up every last shred of his composure while he was at his most helpless. And it wasn’t just the raw moans and sighs rattling out of him that were so deliciously exotic to Mike’s ears, but a steady stream of words like “good” and “yes” and “perfect” tugged at his heart in a way he was only vaguely familiar with. It’s not as if Mike was _starved_ for positive re-enforcement, but that’s probably what did him in. He heard himself saying Harvey’s name without deciding to speak it and completely lost himself in the warm, sated body holding on to him. It hurt to put words to the feeling, but when he came, every muscle in his body throbbing and pulsing, moaning against Harvey’s shoulder with the other man’s legs and hands gripping him so tight and close, he felt loved. And that was it. Overwhelmingly simple. It wasn’t a fact – it was a feeling. But that didn’t make it any less real.

 

It was hard to catch his breath at first, but Harvey’s soothing hand stroking his back helped him ease some air into his lungs. Soon the tranquility of emptying himself of tension and filling back up with total stillness began to bring a little more clarity and strength to his mind. He reluctantly withdrew from Harvey’s snug body and found himself on his back in under one second. Harvey’s lips were tasting the tears on his face. There were fingers running through his hair. He dissolved into the affection and returned it with as much strength as he had, which wasn’t a lot.

 

They found a few minutes of peace together, just touching, breathing, and looking.

 

It didn’t occur to Mike that his fingers were still laced between Harvey’s until he felt Harvey’s hand slip away. But not before discretely slipping the ring away, too. Taking it away was the first real indication that Harvey had even noticed it there. He felt naked without that thing. He wanted it back, but he couldn’t justify asking for it. Instead, he wrapped his arms around Harvey’s neck for as long as he could before Harvey pulled away, rolling onto his side.

 

“You should go get clean,” Harvey suggested, propping himself up on one elbow.

 

Mike nodded, grateful to hear the sentence continue beyond the words “you should go”. Their hands and bellies were both smeared with come and lube, so whether or not he was staying or going he was happy for the offer.

 

“In a minute,” Mike said. His hand was really happy on Harvey’s waist and it wasn’t easy to let go.

 

Harvey kissed him, slow and easy. Now that they had the sex out of the way, it felt like they had all the time in the world to catch up on the intimacy they’d skimmed over. Mike decided pretty quickly that he didn’t want to leave before morning. He wanted to wake up next to this man.

 

“Take a shower,” Harvey told him again. “Then come to bed.”

 

That sounded good. As much as he was prepared to fall asleep like this with Harvey’s scent all over him, he had to get rid of the condom at the very least.

 

Harvey pointed towards the en-suite bathroom, and Mike dragged himself out of Harvey’s arms, but not before the man pulled him in for one more kiss. It felt impossible to ever get enough of this thing he thought he’d never have, but eventually they would have to run out of steam. Mike just hoped that it would happen to them both at the same time.

 

= = =

 

Usually the shower is where Mike did his best reflecting on the big things and the little things and everything else, but tonight just about all of his thoughts had receded into some safe, dark corner of his mind, probably for fear of a reality check. He felt good. He felt _great_. And beyond that, he knew what he _didn’t_ feel: guilt, regret, or the usual loneliness that typically started to plague him a few minutes following a screw. But now, as he rubbed down his body with soap and water, he could only imagine Harvey’s hands doing the same, wondering what his skin felt like beneath Harvey’s touch. Maybe it was the comfort of Harvey’s invitation to stay the night that put him at such a strange ease. Knowing that the other man wasn’t trying to run from this was all the peace of mind he needed. Plus, Harvey had an espresso machine and a fantastic shower... some excellent distractions should the conversation in the morning be awkward. Although somehow he wasn’t worried about it.

 

Mike turned off the water, grabbed the nearest clean towel he spotted, and wrapped it around his waist after a quick pat-down. Even the detergent that scented the towel was strangely familiar and comforting. He rinsed with a bit of mouthwash in lieu of the toothbrush he couldn’t possibly have had the foresight to bring with him to work that morning, and went back out into the bedroom.

 

Harvey wasn’t there. The bed was empty. He heard soft footsteps in the apartment – nothing like the creaky floorboards he was accustomed to – and followed the sound out into the kitchen.

 

Harvey was at his kitchen bar in his boxers. It looked like he’d cleaned himself up, and now he was pouring two short glasses of scotch. Mike quietly admired the musculature of his back, unaware that Harvey detected his presence until the man turned and beckoned him over with a nod of his head.

 

“Is that the good stuff?” Mike walked up to the counter next Harvey and accepted the glass that was handed to him. The bottle was unfamiliar. He’d never seen that label before.

 

“You be the judge,” Harvey said.

 

Mike felt like they were both too underdressed to be sampling such an expensive scotch, but he tipped back the glass and drank anyhow.

 

“Whoa.” Mike looked into his glass, the smooth comforting liquid still resonating on his tongue. “I never knew I could tell the difference between good scotch and _great_ scotch.”

 

“A special skill for your résumé,” Harvey suggested.

 

“I don’t have a résumé.”

 

“With any luck, you won’t need one for a while.” Harvey raised his glass and downed the remainder of his drink. He must have seen the expression on Mike’s face because he added: “Don’t think about it.”

 

“I know.” Mike sighed and drank the rest of the scotch from his glass. He was getting used to trying not to think about it. His whole life was comprised of a series of experiments that he had no idea how long he could get away with, and paranoia didn’t help. On one hand, he knew everything in the world would always end eventually, including his job. On the other hand, people entered into indefinite contracts all the time, like marriages. When they worked, they worked because both parties would agree to suspend disbelief in the finite nature of every agreement.

 

“I said _don’t_ think about it.” Harvey put down his glass, then took Mike’s glass out of his hand and put it down, too. “You really don’t need to. No résumé. You’re staying put.”

 

Mike nodded for Harvey’s sake and repeated, “I know.” Even if he knew neither of them could completely believe it, he appreciated the sentiment.

 

“I know you know. I just need you to hear it.” Harvey looked Mike up and down and sighed. “It’s late.”

 

Usually that was his cue to leave, but Harvey tucked his fingers into the towel at Mike’s waist and pulled him back to the bedroom. Mike laced his fingers behind Harvey’s back, but broke his embrace when Harvey pushed him onto the bed and continued towards the en-suite bathroom.

 

“Want company?” Mike stood again and followed Harvey to the bathroom door.

 

Harvey placed his fingertips on Mike’s chest, stopping him gently with amused patience in his eyes. “My shower time is sacred,” he explained.

 

“What’s not sacred about two grown men getting all slippery and wet together?” Mike grinned when he saw Harvey lick his lips in an attempt to hold back a smile.

 

Instead of inviting him in, Harvey peeled the towel from Mike’s waist, pushed him towards the bed, and shut the door, taking the towel with inside with him.

 

Mike fell back on the bed, naked, clean and happy. Once he heard the sound of the shower running, he climbed under the soft sheets, stretched out on the huge mattress, and wrapped his arms around a pillow, burying himself in Harvey’s scent. He tried to stay awake to feel Harvey get into bed next to him, but with the help of emotional exhaustion and a splash of scotch, he faded fast.

 

= = =

 

Mike had been dreaming about Harvey when he woke to a warm hand stroking his back. He was sated, tingling all over with dreamy residue. He’d never been more comfortable in his life, wrapped up in those soft, clean blankets with a loving hand admiring the subtle curves of his body. He sighed audibly, announcing that he was awake, and shuffled back closer to the man next to him, too content to wonder what time it was or if Harvey was even trying to wake him.

 

Mike was just dozing back to sleep again when he felt warm lips on his neck, gentle and patient. He moaned on an exhale, unwilling to open his eyes in case he was still dreaming. As the gentle lips at his neck began to move slowly down his shoulder, then his back, he became very conscious of the erection he’d woken up with pressed against the mattress -- the symptom of a very deep sleep.

 

“That’s nice,” he mumbled quietly against the pillow.

 

Harvey pulled down the sheets to press a kiss to the small of Mike’s back, seeming encouraged by his simple, appreciative statement. Then he shifted lower, pulling the blankets down to Mike’s thighs. The kisses continued down, one hand still gently massaging his back a few moments more before moving down to his thigh.

 

“You’ve got great legs,” Harvey told him, his voice heavy and dull with sleep. “Great ass...” He punctuated the compliment with a lingering kiss at the base of Mike’s tailbone.

 

“Remember you said that next time you make fun of me for riding my bike to work.” Mike grinned to himself, then bit his lip when he felt the hand move inside his thigh and push it open, bending his knee up. He liked where this was going. Mike arched, pushing his hips up just a little as he bent his leg out some more. His body was still lazy and heavy, which only seemed to leave him defenseless against the arousal between his legs, radiating outward through his limbs.

 

Mike felt the mattress dip between his knees, and then there was a hand at the back of his neck, massaging gently before those fingers moved up into his hair, holding his face down sideways against the pillow. He kept his eyes closed the whole time, enjoying the fact that he now recognized the sound of the drawer in Harvey’s night table sliding open, then shut again. Mike hummed in easy, simple bliss when he felt Harvey’s chest against his back, lips on his neck again, kissing, nuzzling his hairline with his nose. His thighs settled inside Mike’s, and Mike pushed his ass up to feel how stiff and ready Harvey was.

 

“Good morning,” Mike chimed softly, rocking his hips back and forth against Harvey’s erection, trying to tell the man that he wanted to be fucked without asking for it.

 

Mike felt Harvey smile against his cheek. Then the warm lips disappeared as Harvey sat back. He ran a gentle but sturdy hand up and down his back a few times before Mike couldn’t help but sigh eagerly, then the hand moved lower, massaging his ass, sliding a thumb between his buttocks to rub his hole.

 

Mike pushed his face into the pillow and bunched up a handful of sheets in his fist. The hand on his ass moved to his wrist, gently dislodging his grip on the sheets and bringing his arm around behind the small of his back, pressing it there with intent but not force.

 

Something odd and angular nudged between his buttocks and before he could look back or ask what it was, he felt thick, wet lube spill out over his hole. Then Harvey neatly lined up the cap, pressing it snug to his entrance, and Mike whimpered at the feeling of what was probably everything that was left inside the tube trickling into him, only a little spilling back out over his balls as Harvey tossed aside the empty bottle.

 

Mike felt his other hand being coaxed behind his back. He lay there helplessly, filled and overflowing with slick gel, hands behind his back, legs spread, Harvey sitting between his knees doing nothing but looking. His only movement was a thumb rubbing gently against Mike’s palm as he kept Mike’s hands pressed to his back.

 

“Do you wanna finger yourself for me?”

 

Mike swallowed hard and nodded, dizzy with arousal. Harvey brought one of Mike’s hands down to his ass, lined up his middle finger with his slippery hole, and pushed. Both his and Harvey’s fingers slid in easily. Mike felt Harvey’s finger pull away when he began to work his own in and out, slowly, not very deep, pulling out to tease the rim with his fingertip a few times just a little before pushing back in again. He’d never filled himself up with so much lube before – pouring the contents of an entire bottle of Astroglide up his rectum wasn’t really in the budget – but he immediately loved the ease of it. He adored Harvey’s luxury of excess. He was able to slide in two more fingers without much resistance at all, only the mildest sting that quickly vanished with a little patience. He hoped he wasn’t rushing it, but he didn’t hear any objections.

 

Harvey kept one hand pressed to the wrist at his back, as the other gently massaged his thigh. Feeling both the man’s hands on his body told Mike that the Harvey wasn’t touching himself. Apparently just watching Mike was enough, despite how hard he was. It was a powerful feeling to capture that kind of attention.

 

“Can you take more?” Harvey’s grip on Mike’s wrist and thigh tightened a little.

 

“I think so,” said Mike, alarmed that he was able to sneak a bit of his voice past his tight throat, strained with arousal. He pulled all his fingers out, rubbed his slick hole (for Harvey’s viewing pleasure) and couldn’t manage to hold back a shaken whimper when he forced four of his fingers between his legs as deep as the angle of his body would allow it.

 

“That’s enough,” Harvey whispered sharply.

 

But Mike didn’t stop. He held his breath and twisted his fingers, arching his back, putting himself completely on display for the other man. He was so turned on that even the stretch of his muscle around his knuckles seemed to stimulate his hand. It was hard not to stroke his dick, but Harvey wasn’t touching his either, so Mike held out.

 

“Damn it, Mike...” Harvey let go of his wrist and thigh to press both hands to the small of his back, exaggerating the arch at his waist. He pressed him down into the mattress only for a moment before pulling him up onto his knees, as though having a change of heart.

 

Mike loved being manipulated in Harvey’s hands like this. He was compliant, spreading his knees, head and shoulders still pressed down into the pillow, but he didn’t stop fucking himself with his fingers. Harvey’s hands were all over him now, stroking and squeezing. He could feel the man’s patience and control running thin and he liked that.

 

“Feels good,” Mike spoke into the pillow, and not just for Harvey’s benefit. Maybe it made him some kind of prude, but although he’d had his share of fucks, he’d never tested his physical limits with his own fingers before. Concentrating on his own stimulation like this in front of someone who still found his body somewhat novel completely melted his brain and brought him down into his most basic instincts to simply enjoy and experience. Even though he was sort of performing for Harvey, it was Harvey’s gaze on him that turned him on the most.

 

“You’re unbelievably sexy, you know that?” Harvey’s hand finally reached between Mike’s legs to massage his balls while the other continued to slowly stroke his back, up and down, up and down, hypnotizing his body and keeping his muscles at ease.

 

A brief but vivid memory of Harvey telling him that he was “a hot piece” outside the bar on Saturday flickered behind his eyes, pushing through the bright white bliss. It had been so hurtful then, even though he’d sort of believed he meant it. Now it felt good to hear Harvey talk about him like that, because now he really knew that it wasn’t _all_ he was to the man in the context of this encounter. There was more. It had been there the whole time, but if Mike asked Harvey tomorrow why this was happening today, he had a feeling that his lie – or maybe even his truth – would be far less superficial than before.

 

Harvey’s hand moved from Mike’s balls to the head of his cock, squeezing gently, spreading around the precome that Mike knew was probably dripping all over Harvey’s bed sheets. He finally had to break through his drowsiness to actively resist the orgasm the other man was pulling him towards. Mike slid his wet fingers out from his thoroughly prepped hole and reached back further to search for Harvey, wrapping his fingers around a firm thigh.

 

“I need you,” Mike told him simply.

 

Harvey listened.

  
Mike dug his fingers into Harvey’s hip as the hands on his body left him to tear open the condom wrapper. Mike bit his lip, trying to keep still. He couldn’t help reaching down to touch himself with his newly released hand, but stopped quickly when he realized that he was right on the brink. All of his nerves were on fire – anything could set him off. He was wide awake now.

 

Finally, he felt Harvey’s warm, firm, latex-clad cock rubbing against him. There was a hand steadying his hips and Mike thought he might cry if Harvey made him wait another second. He felt the head of Harvey’s dick line up just right, so he angled his hips carefully, trying to take him in. Mike held his breath as Harvey pushed himself forward just a little, dipping into his body barely an inch before easing back out.

 

Mike wanted to scream, but all he could whisper was: “ _More.”_

 

Slowly, Harvey sank into him once again, all the way, with a long, cathartic exhale.

 

Mike opened his mouth against the pillow in a silent cry, gripping the side of the mattress with one hand and bracing himself against the headboard with the other. As Harvey began to move with long, fluid thrusts, the needy ache in Mike’s belly was soon replaced by hot, hard fulfilment. He was so slippery and relaxed, he wondered if his body was giving in too easily. He clenched up around Harvey’s thick cock, trying to make him feel good.

 

“Ah, easy,” Harvey breathed. “Easy, easy...”

 

Mike mused to himself that he wasn’t sure if it was an instruction or a compliment, but he let up regardless, letting Harvey slip in and out of his body with a perverse ease.

 

Harvey shifted each of his knees from inside to outside of Mike’s legs. Without withdrawing, he leaned down, covering the younger man’s body with his, just about flattening them both down against the bed. Harvey’s weight made him feel safe and claimed, totally free in his helplessness to control the speed or depth of Harvey’s thrusts. It always felt right to simply hand himself over to Harvey, whose hands roamed all over him, up and down his arm, his neck, his hair, his waist, underneath his belly and lower down to stroke his cock only until Mike begged him to stop. He wasn’t ready to come yet. Eventually, Harvey’s hand found Mike’s where their utterly bare fingers laced together.

 

No ring. Did Harvey need it? How mandatory was this kink? Harvey’s thumb traced across his fingers, and Mike knew that he was thinking about it.

 

“You want me to put it on?”

 

“No,” Harvey replied quickly. “No, stay right here.” His grip tightened.

 

“I’m all yours,” Mike told him, bowing his head to the lips on the back of his neck.

 

“Mine to do what with?” Harvey sucked an earlobe between his lips, tugging gently with his teeth, persistently grinding his hips down against Mike’s ass, keeping him filled.

 

Mike wasn’t expecting Harvey to roll with that, but he liked it. “Any... th... thing,” Mike managed. It wasn’t very creative if dirty talk was what Harvey was getting at, but he had the entire appendage of another human being thrust inside his body, sparking his nerves, scrambling his logic and compromising his concentration a little. “Just need me.” It was a reciprocal agreement that Mike was looking for. As long as Harvey was dependent on the things Mike had, Mike would continue to provide for him. What those things were was hardly relevant. It was everything else that mattered.

 

“You have no idea,” Harvey confessed in a sigh against Mike’s ear.

 

“Please—“ Mike panted. He bit down hard on his lip.

 

“Please what?”

 

“Don’t... stop...”

 

Mike held on to Harvey’s hand and pushed back against him with every thrust, rubbing his dick against the sheets, giving up on holding out. Harvey was slow and indulgent, never for a second changing the rhythm they’d found. Just when he thought he couldn’t take anymore, he pleaded again for Harvey not to stop again, and he didn’t, only pulling him deeper and deeper into a pool of senseless bliss. He couldn’t imagine either one of them walking around work in their suits later that day as if they could convince people this morning had been like all the others.

 

Mike pressed his face deeper into the pillow to muffle his uncontrollable moans and whimpers, his muscles weakening, trembling.

 

Harvey laughed softly, raking his fingers through Mike’s hair. “Come back,” he said, kissing Mike’s cheek, trying to coax him out of the pillow he was burying himself in. His hand finally snuck down to give Mike’s cock some attention, and that’s pretty much all it took.

 

“FUCK!” Mike lifted his chin to get some cool air on his hot face. He curled his toes and slammed his open hand against the headboard. “Harvey!” The most perfect, searing agony throbbed between his legs. He sucked in just enough air to beg the other man to fuck him harder, but he didn’t have to ask. His breath caught in his throat when Harvey slammed into him, forcing Mike’s cock down into his fist with every thrust. He couldn’t breathe when he came, overwhelmed by the contact all over and around his body, inside and out, probably closer than he had ever physically been to another person in his life at that moment. Harvey drew out the sensation almost longer than he could handle, milking him with his hand and relentlessly forcing open his spastic, clenching muscles until Mike felt that his flesh was simply hard, torn rubber mounted on the electric wire of his bones, shaking all over, searing hot and senseless, wet and sore, throbbing, exhausted. Perfect.

 

Harvey pressed his forehead between Mike’s shoulder blades. A hard, reluctant cry landed on Mike’s back in a puff of hot breath, and Harvey came, pulsing inside Mike’s spent body.

 

Mike exhaled. So did Harvey, his cheek pressed against Mike’s skin.

 

Instead of withdrawing, Harvey released Mike’s hand and scooped his arm around his shoulder, pulling him onto his side, cradling him with one hand in his hair, his chest rising and falling with deep, laboured breaths against Mike’s back. Mike wanted to stay just like that and keep Harvey inside him for as long as possible, or at the very least just stay and listen to the soothing breath against his neck a little while longer.

 

When Harvey pulled out, some of the excess lube trickled out with him. Mike bit his lip and quietly pretended that he’d fucked him bare. He released his lip from his teeth when Harvey leaned over to kiss him once, then again when Mike touched his hand to his face.

 

“Stay here,” Harvey instructed, then pushed himself slowly to his feet. He disappeared into the bathroom and a minute later there was the sound of running water. No squeaky taps. Everything here was slightly foreign.

 

Mike felt no remorse for the wet spot he’d left on Harvey’s bed sheet. The pillow was wet, too, and Mike didn’t know if he’d been drooling or crying. It didn’t matter. He felt all emptied out, light and calm. He didn’t move a muscle until Harvey returned. He climbed onto the bed next to Mike and wiped down the inside of his thighs, then flipped him onto his back and wiped the come from his belly. Normally Mike would feel babied by letting someone clean him but he had no impulse to resist. As soon as Harvey was done, Mike was in his arms again, spooned up on his side, right where he had been before.

 

“I guess I’ll have to wash these sheets,” Harvey murmured in his ear, running his fingers along Mike’s chest.

 

“You say that like you’re actually the person who washes them,” Mike teased.

 

“You think I’d make someone else wash jizz off my sheets?”

 

“I have no idea.” He thought about suggesting that they swallow it all next time, but he didn’t want to push his luck.

 

Mike sighed, closed his eyes, and pushed back even closer to Harvey, taking his hand and kissing it. His skin smelled freshly of soap from the bathroom. When he opened his eyes he happened to glance at the clock on Harvey’s night stand.

 

“Shit, it’s past eight.” Mike tensed up a little, despite the fact that he was wrapped up in his boss’ arms.

 

“Relax,” said Harvey confidently. “Hand me my cell. It’s next to the clock.”

 

As Mike reached out for the phone he saw what a sticky mess his hand was.

 

“ _Other_ hand, please.”

 

Mike shouldn’t have needed Harvey to tell him that. He reached for the phone with his other hand, trying not to lose any contact with the man who had him wrapped up in his arms.

 

“Call Donna.”

 

“You want me to call on your cell? What do you want me to say?”

 

“Nothing, just dial for me. I’m busy.” He tightened his arm around his waist encouragingly and kissed his shoulder before resting his chin there.

 

Mike dialed and held the phone up to Harvey’s ear over his shoulder. He heard it ring once, before Donna’s indistinct voice hummed though the speaker against Harvey’s ear.

 

“Donna. Look, something sort of surprising landed in my lap that needs my immediate attention.”

 

Mike bit back a smile.

 

“I won’t be in before noon, any way you can juggle things until then?” He paused. “You’re my hero.”

 

Mike figured the call was over and was about to hang up, but Harvey continued:

 

“And on an entirely unrelated note...”

 

Mike put the phone back up to Harvey’s ear. “Mike won’t be in until noon either.” He ran his lips along Mike’s neck. “Wardrobe malfunction. Bicycle ran out of gas. I don’t know, don’t worry about it unless Jessica asks, which she won’t, but if she does then I know you’ll think of something. Thanks, Donna. I owe you.”

 

Mike took the phone back and resisted sneaking his own thank-you into the receiver before hanging up. He dropped the phone on the bed.

 

“Are you trying to make her more jealous than she already is?” Mike was joking, but he wasn’t joking.

 

“I can’t keep anything from that woman. Best to always assume she knows everything. She respects me more for being honest about the stupid things I do than for pretending that I’m not doing them.”

 

“Are you calling me a stupid thing?”

 

“Yes.” Harvey kissed Mike’s neck. “I mean, it’s a good thing you’re pretty, because it’s not like you could pass the Bar...” He ran his lips along Mike’s shoulder. “What kind of half-wit only gets a 180 on his LSATs, anyway?” He smiled against Mike’s shoulder, kissed him again, and rolled away.

 

Mike groaned and reached out to pull Harvey back into bed, to hold on to that warm, useless, fuzzy feeling of sweet, sarcastic compliments in bed, but Harvey only took his hand and pulled him to his feet, naked and weary. Now that his blood supply was flowing normally again, the ache and swelling between his legs was starting to kick in. It was a good feeling.

 

“I need a shower.” Harvey began to collect their discarded clothes. “I’ll find you a spare razor and toothbrush... you have fresh clothes at work?”

 

He nodded, watching Harvey bend over to pick up Mike’s pants. He caught them when Harvey tossed the clothes his way, his house keys rattling when they dropped out of his pocket. Mike gathered them up quickly and placed them on the night stand, where it looked like they belonged.

 

Harvey looked around, obviously not entirely sure about where the rest of their clothes had ended up.

 

“If you make a pot of coffee I’ll give you a lift to work, deal?” He had clearly given up on the clothing situation.

 

“Deal.”

 

= = =

 

Mike washed his hands in the kitchen sink, then and slipped on his underwear and pants to feel a little more decent while he watched the coffee drip, waiting for the shower. There was probably another one in the apartment somewhere but he wasn't feeling very eager to seek it out. To pass the time, he walked up and down the hall, collecting the rest of their discarded clothes, then brought them into the bedroom, dropping Harvey’s in one pile on the bed and his own in another.

 

Mike glanced over to the table where he’d set his keys and noticed the ring next to them. It was odd, seeing a wedding band sitting detached from a person. He picked it up, just to look at it. There were so many things he didn’t know about Harvey that he wanted to ask. He wasn’t sure what this ring meant to him, but it obviously meant something. Mike wasn’t a person who saw marriage being a part of his life anywhere down the line, and he’d always assumed that Harvey didn’t either. Maybe that’s why it was easy to use the little gold band as a prop.

 

Harvey opened the door to the washroom, and Mike realized he hadn’t noticed when the shower stopped running. Harvey looked down at the ring in Mike’s hand but he didn’t have anything to say about it. He just went to his wardrobe and pick out something to wear.

 

“Donna told me this is an heirloom,” Mike said, fully aware that maybe Harvey didn’t want to talk about this.

 

“It is,” said Harvey, pulling a shirt off a hanger. “Some distant aunt I barely knew, from her third divorce or something. These things all tend to trickle downstream to me. God knows why, considering I don’t have a basement or an attic for all this crap.” He tossed the shirt over to the bed and continued assembling his suit with pieces from his wardrobe.

 

It somehow struck Mike as unexpected that Harvey would refer to himself as “downstream” from other people in his family. It was an odd choice of words. He was certainly a little bitter about something.

 

“Who’s ring were you wearing?” The band he’d seen Harvey donning for the necessary meetings had actually fit him.

 

Harvey paused with his hand on a jacket. “My dad’s.” He pulled the last piece of his outfit from the wardrobe and tossed it onto the bed next to the other items.

 

Mike rolled the small ring between his fingers while Harvey stripped the towel from his waist and pulled on some boxers, eyeing Mike peripherally.

 

“Spit it out,” Harvey said. If they weren’t both half naked in Harvey’s bedroom his tone might not have been so good-natured.

 

“I could hold on to this for you,” Mike suggested, nervously making himself look up to meet Harvey’s eyes. “If you want.”

 

Harvey looked him up and down, evaluating the question like he wasn’t sure he understood it. Maybe he didn’t. “Why?”

 

“No good reason,” Mike lied. “I guess I just got a little... attached.”

 

“No kidding,” said Harvey. “I thought we were going to have to take pliers to the thing the first day.” He picked up his slacks but didn’t put them on. “You can’t lose it. I mean it may not have sentimental value for _me_...”

 

Mike figured that was a lie.

 

“But you never know when the relatives are going to ask me to materialize this kind of thing, you know? It’s supposed to stay in the family. Which is why I have no business with it.”

 

Mike nodded with a terse smile. “That’s a no,” he gathered, placing the ring back down on the table. It was a stupid thing to ask and he was honestly embarrassed.

 

“No, you can take it.” Harvey pulled on his pants, looking a little pensive. He was clearly turning a lot of material over in his mind. “By that, I mean borrow. Eventually my brother’s going to get married, as much as he insists otherwise, and he’ll want it back.”

 

Mike swallowed and nodded.

 

Harvey took a few steps towards him. “Don’t lose it,” he warned gently.

 

Mike licked his lips, his heart fluttering in his chest as Harvey stepped up to him, leaning in... but he only reached past to pick up Mike’s keys from the night stand.

 

Mike watched Harvey curiously examine his cheap keychain. “What is this thing, anyway?”

 

“It’s just a stupid souvenir,” Mike said, not trying to sound too defensive. It was a little blue plastic _M_ for _Michael_ hooked onto his key ring. “My gram took me to the fair when I was a kid. I won a game.”

 

“Of course you did. Which game?”

 

Mike smiled a little. How could Harvey possible care which game? “Ducks in a pond. There’s a magnet on a fishing pole, and the little plastic ducks go around in a circle...” Harvey looked suspicious of his own amusement by Mike’s innocent recollection. “Come to think of it, I don’t know why I would get a reward for catching a duck, it’s like the opposite of what you’re supposed to catch.”

 

Harvey’s smile reached his eyes and he kissed Mike simply and tenderly on the lips with a warm hum. His fingers traced down Mike’s arm and landed on the keychain in his hand. He pulled back, but Mike didn’t want him to. He smelled so good and clean.

 

Harvey looked down at the keys in his hand that he’d taken away from Mike and unhooked the little plastic _M_.

 

“Uh...” Mike’s gut told him to snatch it back. He’d had it for more than 10 years. “That actually has sentimental value.” His fingers hovered over the souvenir trapped between Harvey’s fingers.

 

“Collateral,” Harvey said simply, handing Mike’s keys back to him. “I’ll take care of _this_ as long as you take care of _that_. Anyway, I thought you said it was just a stupid souvenir.”

 

“It is, but that doesn’t mean it has no value.” But if Harvey wanted it, then Mike wanted him to have it. It was a little piece of his personal history, probably more so than the ring was of Harvey’s. “Please don’t lose it.”

 

“I won’t lose it,” Harvey told him confidently, as if it were a foolish notion. He slipped the plastic _M_ into his pocket and went back to the clothes he’d laid out on the bed, continuing to dress.

 

The scent of fresh coffee drifted into the bedroom. While Harvey finished dressing, Mike put his keys in his pocket and followed the invigorating scent out to the kitchen. He found a few mugs in the cupboard and poured them each a cup before returning to the bedroom.

 

Harvey was buttoning up his shirt when Mike came back into the room. He looked a bit lost in thought, but he blinked and looked up when Mike handed him some coffee, accepting the mug. Shit, was he really using coffee to help navigate the awkward silence in the morning? Was that really happening?

 

“You should know something, before you take that ring,” he said eventually.

 

“Okay.” Mike sipped the coffee from the mug, pretending he wasn’t nervous about whatever Harvey had to say.

 

Harvey looked into his cup a moment before meeting Mike’s eyes. “I figured there was a good chance you’d walk out if you found out how I...” Harvey struggled with the words, shaking his head. “Felt. _Feel_ ,” he corrected. “I thought you’d quit. And I don’t want you to quit.”

 

Mike couldn’t respond to that. It was difficult to imagine that Harvey would feel the need to hide something from him, stumbling over it now. Something ached in his chest.

 

“I didn’t want to manipulate you,” Harvey continued. “Or lie. I just wanted to give you a chance to tell me, in case there was anything... you know. Anything at all. But you didn’t. So I took what I could get and I prayed that it would be worth it if you figured out what I was doing and bailed.”

 

Mike nodded, breathlessly. He understood. Harvey had given him so many opportunities to tell him where he stood, how he felt, and who he was. Out of pride, he’d kept his mouth shut.

 

“You didn’t bail,” Harvey observed suspiciously.

 

“No, I didn’t.” Although there were moments when he thought that maybe he should have. He was glad he’d stuck it out. He was glad it was 9:30 on a Tuesday morning and he was in Harvey’s bedroom with a cup of coffee, watching him get dressed.

 

“You know how I told you that I wasn’t sorry for doing what I did?”

 

Mike nodded again.

 

“I changed my mind. I _am_ sorry.”

 

Mike’s chest was a bit tight. He didn’t know what this meant. “Why now?” Harvey had told him before that he wasn’t sorry because he still wanted him. Did that mean he was done with him now? Mike didn’t think he could believe that.

 

“I didn’t have anything else to hold on to before,” said Harvey. He finished buttoning up his shirt. “Now I do.”

 

Mike’s lips felt tight. There was too much to say, so all he said was: “Yes, you do.”

 

Harvey pulled the plastic _M_ out of his pocket. “I know you won’t lose this if I hold on to it, because I won’t lose it. And I’m not going anywhere.”

 

“Neither am I,” Mike insisted. “You’re not losing me.” He told himself to ease up a little on the sentimentality and clarified: “I’m not quitting.”

 

Harvey thumbed the rim of his coffee mug, examining Mike’s expression with soft eyes. “Mike, I’m sorry.”

 

Mike nodded, once, affirmatively. “Apology accepted.”

 

“You’re too forgiving,” Harvey chided quietly, and took another sip of his coffee. He turned to his dresser and put the coffee down.

 

Mike tapped his fingers on the side of his mug and watched Harvey put on his tie in the mirror. Maybe he was just as forgiving as he needed to be. He saw Harvey watching him back in his reflection.

 

“There’s a razor and a toothbrush in the bathroom for you,” Harvey told him, adjusting his collar.

 

Mike took the hint. He put down the remainder of his coffee, picked up the ring from the night table and crossed the room, pulling his keys out of his pocket. He hooked the gold band onto the latch hanging from his key ring once he was alone in the bathroom. Mike had never lost his keys. The ring would be safe there. It felt good to have something that belonged to Harvey, just like it felt good for Harvey to have something that belonged to him.

 

A toothbrush and a razor, still in their packaging, were laid out neatly on a clean towel. Harvey was practically bragging about how together he was.

 

“Can’t find them,” Mike called out, staring down at the towel and accoutrements. “Show me.” Mike undid his pants and stripped himself from the waist down.

 

Harvey walked through the half-open door, knowing exactly what Mike was doing, paying no attention to the things he’d left on the counter.

 

“That’s strange,” Harvey mused, looking into Mike’s eyes as he walked up to him, nudging him closer to the shower. “I could have sworn...”

 

Mike pulled him in for a kiss, indulging in Harvey’s crisp shirt on his naked chest. It made him feel even dirtier, and neither of them minded that at all.

 

Harvey was eager, tonguing Mike’s mouth, the faint tastes of coffee and toothpaste mingling between their tongues. He wrapped an arm tight around Mike’s waist while he reached behind him with the other, dipping him just a little, to turn on the shower.

 

Mike felt the water hit his face, tasting it between their lips. He was both alarmed and delighted when he felt Harvey’s fresh shirt dampen under his hands as they stepped into the shower together.

 

Harvey broke from the kiss when he pulled out Mike’s souvenir from his pocket and reached out of the shower to drop it on the counter where it was safe and dry. His shirt darkened quickly as Mike went to work on his tie. He’d never tried to undo a wet tie before. It wasn’t easy. Harvey finally took over and pulled it over his head, bumping his elbow on the wall of the shower with a hard _thud_.

 

“We’re gonna need a bigger boat,” Mike remarked with a smile, undoing the wet shirt clinging to Harvey’s incredible body. It was never too early in the day for a _Jaws_ reference.

 

“I fucking love you,” Harvey responded, so matter-of-factly, that Mike wasn’t even sure he’d heard him correctly. But it didn’t matter, because whether or not Harvey had meant to say it, he meant it, and suddenly he realized how obvious it was.

 

“I know,” said Mike.

 

They didn’t make it to work that day. 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! :)


End file.
